Alliance: [Cole X Reader]

Battle Scars

(A/N: this chapter contains heavy themes and mentioned suicide. Please take caution, and read this at your own risk. I love you all, and tho you yourself may not be suicidal, your character in this story is.)

I sat on the roof of Jays new house, alone.
Defeated.

I couldn't remember a time in my life where I had felt so alone.

I always had the boys. Always. It was something I could depend on.

Nya was always there too, and then suddenly... gone.

Moral of the story: don't ever take what you have for granted.

My legs swung off the building, heels clicking up against the side. The warm breeze ruffled my hair, and I sighed. It had been a month since I quit at the pet shop.

It had been almost five since Jay started his tv show.

And three since I was last up on this roof.
Two and a half months since I got my cast off my arm from breaking it from jumping this high.

I originally wanted more than a broken arm.

A long white scar ran from my wrist to my elbow where they had to perform surgery and rebuild my arm. I ran a finger up and down it, staring at the palm of my hand.

I hated what this had done to me.
I was always a happy person, no matter the circumstances.

But.. this time it was so much worse.

My friends had been ripped from my life. My brother no longer spoke to me, because he had become enveloped in his pride, courtesy of his stupid show.

And one day, as I slipped off that stupid dress and the bright lights dimmed I realized something.
I hadn't felt anything in a long while.

A realization like that opens the flood gates to something horrible. I started asking these horrid questions.

"What if I didn't show up for filming?"
"Would anyone notice I'm gone?"
"Would I be replaced?"
"What would Jay think?"
"Would the ninja care if I was gone?"
"Do they miss me?"

"What if I just ceased to exist?"

And soon I found myself swimming in these stupid questions. A little voice in my head had found its way in, telling me that no one cared, and no one ever would.

And so I did try.

I promise, I'm better now. I'm not sure Jay understands or knows what really happened, but he's been... more kind recently.

A creak behind me and I spun to see who it was. The door opened, and a familiar blond appeared in its place.

"Y/N?"

My breath caught in my throat and I stood.

"Lloyd?" Before I even knew what was happening, I found myself in his embrace, crying big wet tears onto his shirt.

He flinched at first, but held me close. "Hey hey it's okay..." he tried to soothe me, to no avail. So, he just kept talking. "I came to talk to Jay. I-we need to get the team back together. I needed to see you. Jay says you're-"

"I'm fine Lloyd. I promise." I cut him off and laughed a little between the tears to make him smile.

It worked.

"Uh okay... We're meeting for dinner tonight. At Cole's favorite noodle place. Please come with your brother. Please." He begged, as I sighed and slid out of his hug.

With a sleeve, I wiped my face dry and nodded. "Okay. I'll be there."

Lloyd smiled and waved a goodbye before heading off.

I sat squished between Jay and Lloyd at the booth. Food slid by on our right on a conveyor belt, tempting to my growling empty stomach. The bell on the door rang as a talk shaggy haired boy came in.

Cole.

I smiled and waved to him, which he quickly returned, eyes lit up bright. That happy smile soon turned when he saw my brother. Instead of the warming welcome he gave me, a growl and glare was sent to Jay.

He plopped down across from me, silent.

Moments later, in came Kai, spiked hair still as crazy as ever. Same thing as Cole, a hello to me, grumble to Jay and Cole.

"I've called you all together to think about the team. And maybe considering adding a new member." Lloyd began, and boy oh boy was that a bad idea.

"New teammate! Are you crazy?!"
"What?!"
"And replace Zane! No way!"

"I don't want to replace Zane! I cared for him, too. But I also care for this team..." The blond put above the griping of the others.

"Maybe without Zane, there is no team." Kai quipped, which made me giggle.

A glare from my brother and Kai, while Cole just looked confused. "What are you guys, a band? Breaking up and arguing about it for more drama. I thought girls were bad." I muttered and shook my head. "I can't speak for anyone else but," I cut in front of their attempts to put in a sour word against me, "I was miserable when you guys weren't talking. I get it, arguments happen, but we're family. That fact shouldn't be affected by what you think about each other."

Silence.

Wide eyed, I glanced at their faces and took the silence as my cue to continue.

I placed my arm on the table and gently pulled back the sleeve. I stumbled over words for a minute, which sprawled into an eternity. "I got a new battle scar from jumping from the roof of my brother's fancy house." A gasp. Jay shifted awkwardly next to me, obviously uncomfortable.

"Two shattered bones, and extensive rebuilding needed. I was in surgery for three hours. A blue cast for three weeks. A brace followed the next two." I carefully slid my arm back under the table, and fixed my sleeve. "All because of the loneliness and pain I felt during that time. So I'm with Lloyd on this one. Anything. I would do anything to see you guys not fight anymore."

Through tears, I looked up to each of them.

Jay had his face buried in his hands.
Kai was practically pulling his hair out.
And Cole has tears welling up in his eyes, too.

"Okay. I'll do it, I'll do it for you,
Y/N." A hoarse whisper from Cole, and the others nodded to agree.

The bells on the door jingled as trouble walked in.