LIKE I CAN ━ Steve Harrington ✓

13 - KILL, BABY KILL

KILL, BABY KILL

IT FELT FOREIGN, walking back up to the backside of Matthew's house, climbing up to his window. It was something reminiscent of better days, of days long gone. However, he had to swallow his nostalgia (and his pride) as he knocked on the window of his ex-boyfriend's bedroom.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Matthew opened up the window but didn't move to let Grayson in. Although he had definitely anticipated this reaction, it still hurt. At least, it hurt until he remembered he was the one who broke Matthew's heart. He totally deserved this.

"I would offer to let you punch me, but I already had that happen and I'm pretty sure my nose is broken," Grayson joked in a selfish attempt to lighten the mood. It didn't work. "I'm here to talk, to apologize, can you let me in before I call to my death?"

Matthew rolled his eyes but moved away to let him in any way, "Unfortunately, you wouldn't die from that fall. You want to apologize? I'm all ears."

"Okay, first things first, I know me saying I'm sorry isn't going to change what I did or make it okay and you totally don't have to forgive me because I'm a douchebag and I don't deserve it, I just want you to know: I am truly sorry. When I did what I did, I wasn't even thinking about how it would affect anyone besides me and that was selfish and terrible and you deserved so much better than what I gave you. It's not even just the cheating I'm apologizing for, I'm apologizing for the fact that I pursued a relationship with you when I knew I wasn't over Steve and that was unfair to you from the start. It was unfair because from the very beginning, you were all in and I was already half out and that is just a dick move and you didn't deserve that. So, I'm sorry, mainly for the cheating but also for that. I just, I absolutely deserve a punch in the face and you should never ever talk to me again, I'm surprised you're even giving me the time of day right now because I suck so bad—"

Surprisingly, Matthew was laughing as he cut him off, "Okay, I think I get it. You're sorry."

"I am, I really am," Grayson sighed, leaning against the window sill. He remembered the nights they would spend in this room, just enjoying each other and being happy. "But I think the thing I'm most sorry for is telling you I loved you when I didn't. That was the worst thing I could have possibly done and it was just messing with your feelings and I'm sorry."

"It's okay," the boy shrugged. "Well, it's not okay, you did a lot of shitty things and I got totally screwed over, but I accept your apology. Just, don't do that to anyone ever again, okay?"

"I think I can do that."

"Good," he nodded, his eyes shifting towards the ground and away from Grayson, "Also, if you and Steve do end up together, I just, I hope you're happy."

Grayson shook his head, "No, you don't have to pretend—"

"It's not pretending. This is high school, hearts are gonna get broken, it happens. I'll move on and so will you, it looks like you already have and that's okay. If you get your chance to be happy now, take it, because you don't know when a chance like that is gonna come around. I'll get my chance eventually, it just wasn't with you like I thought it was. That's okay. I genuinely hope you two are happy together, I'll find my happiness with someone else."