• h a r r y •
what happened in the car still remains blurry and mysterious to me. all i can remember is jade's screams, piercing my mind until it cleared up a little. she brought me back from the dark void i was in, something that no one has been able to do before.
she currently lays in our bed, soft snores leaving her slightly parted lips with the tiniest bit of drool in the corner. she looked so peaceful, as though nothing was worrying her anymore. what happened in the car begs to differ.
i couldn't bring myself to sleep at all. not even with the sound of jade's heartbeat lulling me, it never came. my mind stayed racing, thoughts and worries piling up until i got a migraine.
with a heavy sigh, i throw the blanket off of me and carefully remove jade's body from mine. she stirred slightly before cuddling up to the pillow, wrapping her arms loosely around it like she does with me. the sight makes me smile.
i creek the door open and step out, exposing myself to the candle lit hallway. i must've forgotten to blow it out after all the hassle of tonight.
the bathroom is lit up very dimly by the already rising sun. i didn't check the time before i got up, but i was pretty sure it was early morning. and i hadn't slept the whole night.
i open the bathroom cabinet with a yawn, rummaging around for a paracetamol or ibuprofen, something to calm down the heavy thumping in my head. when i find nothing, i groan and place my head in my hands, leaning on the sink.
flickering my eyes up, i see jade's baby pink toiletry bag. it had a rose gold zip and her initials written in rose gold at the top right hand corner. it was endearing.
it's a toiletry bag, harry.
panting with perspiration on my forehead, i reach for the bag and zip it open, hoping to find some pills to help calm me down.
what i didn't expect was to find a box of aripiprazole, otherwise known as abilify. i was all too known with this familiar blue box of pills. my jaw clenches as i look at the bin, not registering what i'm doing until rubbish is littered around me and i'm holding a piece of tissue in my hands. two pills, small and circular, half dissolved.
jade needs meds.
and she hasn't been taking them.
*
it was past noon when jade finally awoke from her slumber. she trudged downstairs with her hair in a bun on the top of her head and her eyes still tired, but bright. her tanned legs were exposed in grey shorts, and her stomach was toned in a sports bra.
"good afternoon, sleeping beauty," i say with a smile. i was on my seventh cup of tea, as i didn't bother going back to bed after the incident with jade's little secret.
"hi," she says with a shy smile. she reaches for a mug and flicks the kettle on before she starts preparing her tea. milk, two sugars and the tea bag out.
once it's finished, she sits opposite me and sips on her tea, eyes now wild and staring into space ahead of her.
"are you okay?" i question. she doesn't reply verbally, but nods her head instead. i suppose it was better than nothing.
"i have to sort something out today, you don't mind staying here by yourself, do you?" i cautiously bring up. i did have to sort something out, and that was my sisters dickhead of a husband. i knew something fishy was going on in that house, but didn't want to start anything in fear of exposing my second side. my dark one. however, hearing hollie and george, the two kids who i adore with my whole heart, talking about how scared they were of him and how they had to protect their mum, i couldn't stay silent anymore.
she nods again, bringing the mug away from her face and resting it on the table. i notice her hands trembling around the cup, but she doesn't bring it away. when i notice tears in her eyes, i rip her hands away and see that they're bright red from the heat.
"jade!" i scold, running her over to the tap and turning it on cold. she doesn't flinch when i put her hands under, she doesn't acknowledge me as i rub antiseptic cream on them. when i wrap a bandage around them, she tuts her tongue.
"oh dear," she whines softly, observing her hands. i grab her face gently and stare into her eyes. they're dead, cold.
they're not jade's.
"tell me what you were thinking," i push. she dips her head down and closes her eyes.
"i wasn't."
