Let Me Go (Tyler Carter)

Chapter One: Suicide;Stigma.

"Suicide. You know why everyone hates it so much? Not because you leave things undone or for simply the fact that you're dead, but because you're playing the role of God. You shouldn't have the power to end your own life, only God should have that kind of power, but what the fuck, God gave you your own goddamn free will, so in the end, isn't it his fault? I don't believe God's perfect, otherwise he wouldn't have killled his only fucking son, or let Eve eat the apple and tempt Adam, thus leading to the doom of humanity.

SUICIDE. Such a nasty word, it makes people run in terror and call therapists, but it makes me throw my head back and laugh. When you kill yourself, people say all the good things about you; "They were beautiful, caring, wonderful, interesting, etc.," but when you're alive, they say, "Ugly, disgusting, a waste of space, horrifying, unlovable, etc.,". It's a funny thing, isn't it? So much stigma." I say, stepping away from the microphone. The coffeehouse erupts in cheers as I step off the stage, Chris walking towards me.

"Great job," He says, hugging me. I smile and sit on the couch, seeing Neil take the stage next. Everyone comes here for Neil and Ollie, I'm just an 'opening act' so to speak. I sense someone behind me and turn around, a man with bright blonde hair standing behind me, painstakingly tall. I fight back from squealing as I look at him.

"What's your name?" He asks, a slight southern accent to his voice. I fight back squealing and "fangirling" as I move to stand up, standing in front of him.

"Addison," I say, running a hand awkwardly through my hair.

"My names,"

"I know, you're Tyler Carter, from ISSUES. I'm a huge fan, you're voice is amazing and your stage presence, I saw you once here but," I say, blabbering. "I'm sorry, I'm blabbering. You probably need to get going or something,"

"You're fine, honest. No harm done. It's amazing seeing a fan, but I think the work you do is far better than mine. Tell you what, let's meet up tonight. Here, give me your number," He says smoothly, winking at me, my palms sweaty. I add my contact and he smiles, walking out of the coffeehouse.

"He's got his eye on you. Damn girl. Look, I've gotta meet Jackson for our date tonight, I'll call you later," Chris says, giving me a hug and quick peck on the cheek. He disappears and I sit back down, Neil coming on stage. I listen intently, cheering when he finishes. He jumps off stage, sitting beside me.

"Tell me, what's going on in your world my dear Addi," Neil says, making me laugh.

"I just got asked out on a like, date, with the lead singer of a world-wide known band that I love. It'd like to think it's going pretty good," I admit, Neil laughing.

"Addison got game. I'm not surprised. Oh, your poem stuck with me. Absolutely incredible."

"Thank you, I wrote it back when I was, oh, fourteen? I think?"

"Well, either way, it was incredible.

I must get going, You're not the only one with plans for tonight. Best of luck!" Neil says, giving me a quick hug and disappearing. I smile and finish my coffee, catching a cab back to my apartment, arriving home as I walk up the numerous flights of stairs. I unlock my door, and slide my boots off, unraveling my scarf and talking my beanie and coat off, hanging them up. I go to turn the heat up, the apartment freezing.

"Fuck," I whine, the heat not turning on. Are you kidding me? Fifteen hundred dollars a month and the heat doesn't even work? Fuck me. I pull the space heaters out of the closet, four of them. I place two in the living room, one in my room, and the smallest one in the bathroom. I shove my sweatshirt on and lay on the futon in the living room. I turn the television on, grabbing my laptop, typing up my final paper for this year. I finish it, the last paragraph and check my phone, a text from Tyler appearing on the screen.