In love with a weirdo (Major Editing)

Hope

Chapter 5

*Justin's POV*

After a very boring day at school I made my way home hoping that my dad won't be there.

It was tough last night not as usual I had to leave the house.

I wish mom was here since the day she left and our family never became the same anymore.

Mom left us for some rich millionaire years ago. She ditched us and never looked back for once I don't even remember how she looks like all I remember is that she loved me and my brother but she left us anyway.  Since then my father became an alcoholic

Add to being an alcoholic being abusive.

Every day is a different struggle. Will this misery ever end ? Will I survive ?

As I grew up I was more able to defend myself. I chose to play boxing to be able to stand up for myself I learned to push my father away before I lose a limb.

Sometimes I can't defend myself and I remember how happy I felt before when my mom was still there for us I miss her more and more everyday

I wish you were here mom I really do

I hope this misery could end someday I wonder every night if there is light at the end of the tunnel because my tunnel was too dark to even go through it.

I opened the door to find my dad watching TV with a beer in his hand

Too early for drinking dad too early

I tiptoed to my room hoping that he won't see me

"I won't be able to pay for your medications anymore" Dad said leaving me stunned even the simplest thing I can ask for he can't afford it

"Okay I'll call derek maybe he will pay for it" Dad didn't say a word

I made my way through the room thinking whether derek will pay for my medications I can't live without them I can't risk it anymore

Derek is my older brother he lives in Newyork. After he finished highschool he went to college there.

After he finished college he found a decent job there and everything became perfect for him.

Now he lives in somewhere fancy while i suffer here , I can't say he doesn't help me because I take my allowance from him but I wish I could go and live with him after highschool I am so done with dad.

I left derek a voice mail telling him briefly that i need money for my medications I tried to sleep so I could forget about everything

I kept on turning in bed , pushing pillows and removing covers

"JENNA JENNA JENNAAA Ugh" I almost screamed I keep thinking about jenna and i don't know why

This feels like shit she's annoying and nosey she likes to get into my business for no reason

Who wants to be friends with a guy like me ? Someone who is damaged and broken and has nothing to offer except pain and misery

I can't deny she helped me alot when i needed a place to stay , I feel so safe beside her I feel like i can trust her but I don't want to. I'm toxic I burn everything around me and I don't want to burn her too

She's different she's funny , cute and playful she makes me feel like a child again

Stop this shit right now justin there's no need to break something else something which will never be yours

But what if i can't help but think abour her ? No you will forget her just push her away like everybody else before you hurt her.

How can I push someone so perfect away.

Sometimes I just stare at her from the back of the class. The way she talks the way she laughs even when she is just staring at the wall.

What freaks me out even more is that I'm actually jealous from Chris. He has a chance to be this close to her and I don't.

If only my life was better...

Jenna my life is full of secrets that you won't handle. You have all the happiness in the world in your eyes and if we became close this happiness will turn into darkness I know.

I will do the one thing I never thought I would do. I opened my laptop and start looking for her on facebook

"Finally I found you" I said

I started looking at her pictures and how flawless she looks. Those red lips need to be kissed.

As creepy as it sounds I saved a couple of pictures, I even kept one on my phone hoping that maybe Jenna is the light at the end of the tunnel.

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A really short chapter i know but i hope you like it