Twice As Hot | Jikook ✓

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IMESSAGE
지지 💕

JIMIN
sorry for yelling jiji.. im
just fighting a lot right now

JIMIN
im still really hurt by it..

JIMIN
guess it's time to explain tho :(

JIMIN
okay um..

JIMIN
well.. just like you, he knew about my debut, you said it yourself..

JIMIN
the week before I had to make my final decision, he came to me privately while you were shooting in LA

JIMIN
he told me he'd give up college and move out with me, join me

JIMIN
said his happiness was being with ME, that modeling and photography was something he'd give up

JIMIN
I couldn't let him do that jihyun.. I love him too much to be the reason he gave up his aspirations..

JIMIN
he's such a handsome boy, a talented, stunningly playful boy. I didn't have the heart to tear that away from him..

JIMIN
he was young :( just getting into school.. just getting life started

JIMIN
I couldn't let him drop it all and travel around with me for two whole years

JIMIN
I knew if I told him my feelings, it'd only convince him more. he'd find a way to get there even after I told him no

JIMIN
I love him so much but he's an impulsive decision maker

JIMIN
he'd drop everything if we would've been dating, I couldn't ruin his future

JIMIN
I couldn't do it, okay??

JIMIN
my feelings aren't, and weren't, more important than his future

JIMIN
sacrificing myself was the ONLY option I had, so yes, I kept them to myself, it hurt and it still does

JIMIN
but it's what was right.. :(

JIMIN
I loved him enough to let him go, now that we're back in each other's lives it's like our strings are tugging

JIMIN
we wanna be together again, im struggling everyday to resist the urge to wrap my arms around his neck and let him kiss me like he never got to

JIMIN
I missed him every day, okay? I STILL MISS HIM

JIMIN
I wanna hold him, wanna apologize for leaving.. for not being honest and confessing

JIMIN
wanna tell him I cared about his future more than my own.. that I wanted him to be where his is now, happy and proud..

JIMIN
wanna take the time we have together now and officially reveal myself.. ask him if he still wants to be my boyfriend..

JIMIN
if he knew I felt the same three years ago, he wouldn't be where he is now..

JIMIN
he wouldnt be a model.. he'd be alone and dragging along behind the scenes of my tour. He wouldn't have a career and probably wouldn't be very healthy..

JIMIN
I wanted more for him than that.. :( him being himself is more important than him being with me, okay?

JIMIN
thats why I did it..