Tacos, Spider-suits and Sex

Chapter 15

Peter remembers the first time they'd experimented with Wade's healing factor in bed.

Of course, Peter always liked to make a point of Wade knowing that he didn't mind it. Honestly, it had always been a bonus. That frankly addictivecontrast of skin, the whole no-gag-reflex-makes-for-awesome-blowjobs thing, it had really only ever been a plus. Not to mention, Wade had happily pointed out that he was literally "ribbed for your pleasure" (insert the emoji winking face). That being said, Peter had never really thought of using it in other ways until Wade had brought it up. Apparently he'd screwed around with it himself, but he really wanted to try getting handsy with Peter. And that was literal. Deadpool wanted to try detaching his hand in bed.

Naturally, Peter had started off with a firm, "hell no" attitude. But Wade, being the unstable guy he was, had taken it off just to prove a point. He held it up with the opposite hand, the fingers wiggling, just to prove he could still move it around, even though it wasn't actually attached to him.

And after Peter's mild freak out, Wade calmly pieced himself back together, like nothing had happened.

Although, once it got down to it, Peter was an avid fan of this new... thing. Was there actually a kink name for your boyfriend using a disconnected hand to do dirty things to you? Peter didn't think it was truly possible to be touched so many places at once. 69ing, Wade's tongue in his ass, jerking him off with one hand, while the detached one wandered away to play with his nipples. All that, with the added fullness of Wade in his mouth, was simply impossible. Impossibly good. Wade had to stop multiple times just to make sure the fun wouldn't be over before it began, and Peter still ended up cumming twice that night.

Of course, it had been something over stimulating and brilliant then, a new thing to try out. It had been exciting then, but now...

Now they were sawing off different parts of Wade's body, and wrapping them up in separate plastic bags.

Peter never wanted to have Wade in pieces again. He needed to be whole 24/7. A complete person with all his limbs attached at all times. All times. God, Peter was so sure he was going to be sick when the bone saw separated the arm from the shoulder, a gnarly pop and gruesome squelch accompanying the tear of small skin strings that hadn't been cut all the way through with the first incision.

They tried acid, limb separation, hell, they even tried blending him.

Literally blending him.

You can imagine a plane propeller turned on it's side, or a giant fan. They stuffed wade in with it, and someone hit the power. Peter did vomit when the Executioner lifted his head, making sure he could see as the skin and suit meshed together, even the bone blending in to one tormented sort of smoothie. He imagined, if Wade wasn't screaming, he could make a joke, maybe something funny about how he might taste, but that just made Peter puke again.

This time however, he aimed for the Executioner's shoes.

Wade came back. Every time. They had scientists, masochists, some guy who drabbled on with a torture scrapbook, an entire team of twisted bastards trying to figure out a way to kill this man. Nothing worked though, the best they could do was make the regrowth process delay for an extra hour or two. But every time they cut him down, tore him apart, made him bleed, Wade would just get up, stare blatantly at Peter, and ask what else they had for him.

With each failure, the Executioner grew more and more restless. He'd kicked Peter over once, just to make sure Deadpool was really trying his hardest. A lot of good that did him. Wade got angry, yelling at him, "I'm doing my best you sick fuck! I told you I can't. fucking. die!"

"You'll die, or pretty boy dies. There's a way to do it. I'm certain. We just haven't tried it yet."

"You got another planet hiding up your ass?"

The man frowned, "Excuse me?"

"You know, issue 250. The uh, universes collided? I died that way. If you conjure up another planet out of your ass I think we can do it."

The Executioner scowled, "You're insane."

"Guilty!~"

He looked ready to pounce, a vein popping out on his neck as he glared furiously at Deadpool, cursing him, ordering him to die. One of the scientists cautiously came forward, adjusting his glasses before clearing his throat. "Pardon me sir..."

"What?!" he growled.

"It, uh- it occurs to me that we could try to adjust his DNA? Manipulate his RNA possibly? Since his genetic healing powers were, in fact, a product of scientific injection, and extreme circumstances, I believe we could reverse the process. Either demolish the mutated DNA or even mutate it further."

"Speak English."

The man huffed and adjusted his glasses again, "Get rid of the healing factor, then kill him. If the process doesn't kill him first."

"And you could do it?"

"It would take time, but we could develop a toxin to inject, I'm sure." the man continued, "If the mutants changed his DNA before, we can change his DNA again. Worst case scenario, he has a negative reaction and suffers internally from it. We can see if organ failure will kill him."

Wade popped up between them, boisterously blasting his opinion, "Well that sure sounds like fun. Do they make Band-Aids for organs? I bet ya twenty bucks I'll need one after that. Oooh! If they don't exist you should invent some doc. You could put cute lil' designs on them and everything. But I get to name it, cus I thought it up."

"My god, do it." The Executioner groaned, "Anything to make him shut up at this point."