To all the boys I've loved before ||

You got a "friend" in me.

Dear, blank

It's been a while. You dropped me as soon as you found a girlfriend but most of the time checked up on me because you knew you lost a good one.

Before anyone else started to like you I was there since third grade. We could tell anything to each other and it wouldn't be weird, that what I loved about us.

You did my best friend wrong. So we took a break on our friendship. I told her that I started to had feelings for you and at first she didn't know what to say. So I kept my distance because I would never do that to her.

Later on she found someone and didn't have a problem with me talking to you. Before I even talked to you again I made sure it was okay. I took about a week since she told me before I talked to you again.

When I talked to you things went back to normal. It was great having a guy to talk about everything about. Don't get me wrong I love my best friends but I also liked having a guy friend.

The whole year we became close but we stayed friends. A year goes by and we were struggling on what high school to go to. In the end you went to my chosen high school.

During the year we lost our friendship because you dropped me as soon as you started secretly dating blank. She was the rudest bitch you can think of. She made rumors and was fake to everyone including me.

Not only that we didn't get along at all, so her dating my best friend didn't mix well. He knew I didn't like her but chooses to date her.

When I tried to talk to you she was there. I couldn't even speak to you because she will lean and smile to my face. There was no privacy between you and me.

I stopped trusting you for a while because I knew you would tell her. She will go through your phone and text me, so it would look like you texted me.

I warned you about her but you didn't listen. She dropped you just like you dropped me for some else and left you heart broken. You kept trying to contact me but I was not over he fact that you ignored me and used me when you needed me. NOT WHEN I NEEDED YOU.

At this point I was over it. The year was over and during summer you confessed you liked me over the year but never told me. I ignored it at first because I didn't trust a word he was saying.

Highschool started and I forgave you because I missed you. All my friends told me you were no good and you will use me again but I didn't care anymore.

The beginning of highschool we didn't have no classes together but we were still close. We had a thing for eachother but we didn't happen.

When I told you I started having feeling for someone you seemed fine but I could tell you will start to get jealous when I was around him.

So you would intrude and mess with me in front of him. I stopped you because it wasn't like that anymore. The guy I had feelings for found someone else and just saw me as his second choice.

You saw how I was hurt and hugged me while he was laying next to her. I was laying next to your shoulder because I was hurt. You thought differently and started to flirt with me low key.

We were back to being a thing and we were close to becoming something more but then she came along.

Another girl who didn't like me either. I could see her talking shit and while smiling to me.
She saw us laying next to each other talking and decided to come up to us. She smiled and bragged about what her bf got her.

We both said it was cute and congratulated them. Who knew she was going for him and dumped him two days later.

I saw her wearing your sweater and freaked out. I told you why she was wearing it and you told me to calm down that it didn't mean nothing. In class she will be writting love notes and put it in your sweaters pocket.

You started liking her and stopped talking to me. You ignored me and told me we will talk later. I WAS ALWAYS THERE FOR YOU FOR ANYTHING. When you were sad you came to me. When you needed someone to talk to you came to me.

I never asked for nothing in return only for you to listen in return. We both liked each other but you weren't never ready.

One day I started to cry because you told me mean things that day and I couldn't take it. You saw me crying and had the nerve to say what was wrong and who did this to you.

YOU SAID THIS PERSON WILL PAY FOR WHAT HE DID TO ME BUT YOU WERE THE ONE WHO DID THIS.
how was I supposed to tell you that?

From there on I stopped hurting myself by trying to chase after you. Sometimes you will yell come here it's been a while. While I walked out the building to my car.

You did that for a WHOLE WEEK. I walked away each time.

I loved you. You were my first guy friend I fell in love with . We had great laughs and had great memories.

I know things will never be the same since now you smoke weed and changed. You talk all gangster even tho I know deep down you're not.

This has taught me so many things. We had something special but the keyword was had. It's not that you miss the person it's that you miss the memories. It took me soooo long to realize that but I finally got it.

Goodbye blank.