Normality is Overrated

Rick x Reader, Why are you a Pickle?

I had moved into the neighborhood several months ago, trying to save money by moving closer to my job. I didn't make a lot of money working in an animal shelter but it was full time and I really loved doing something meaningful.  

It is my day off and unfortunately that means nothing, since I am a responsible adult who has bills and a house to take care of. Throwing on a well fitted black tank top, black shorts, and tennis shoes I head down the stairs and to the garage. I drag out the cheap mower I had brought with me from my old place, as much as I hated mowing the grass was getting ridiculously high and pretty soon the city would fine me if I didn't cut it. 

"I hate this so much..." I mumble as I prime the engine. 

"Ok, here we go. Let's get this over with.." 

And nothing. The mower sputters but refused to start no matter how much I try to get it going. 

"Son of a bitch..." I growl at it in frustration, "I have one day off this week and this is really how it is going to go? ARGH!" 

Pushing the mower back into the garage I then wander back into the house and grab my cellphone. I didn't know many of the neighbors but I hoped one of them would have a mower I could borrow. 

I texted a few people with no luck, they must all be too busy to answer...

 *BING* 

I glance at my screen to see a text from Beth, the nice blonde lady from a few houses down. 

Phew...disaster averted, I thought as I stuffed my phone into my pocket and started towards the front door. 

*BING, BING*

Stopping in my tracks I pull my phone out again to check the texts.

Well.. At least she warned me in advance.. I thought, shoving the phone back into my pocket and heading out the door. Beth's house was only two down from mine, but I never really went this way so I hadn't gotten a very good look at it until now. To put it simply, it looked like the house had seen better days. 

The garage was open, like she said so I walked in and glanced around for the mower.

"Mower...Mower....If I was a lawnmower where would I be?" I said.

"H-hey, you with the boobs, over *burp* here." 

I stopped dead in my tracks and looked around. There was no one in the room or outside the garage door....so where did that voice come from? 

Wait did it just say 'You with the boobs'?  I thought, frowning.

"Hello? Beth said I could borrow the lawnmower since mine broke....." I said looking around the room. 

"I-I  gath-*burp*-ered  that, now walk to the work desk on the wall." The voice said.

It was obviously an older man, so I figured it had to be Beth's dad.. But where in the world was he? Shrugging I walk towards the work desk, eyeballing all of the strange things laying around until my eyes land on a large dill pickle just laying there on the desk. 

Well that is...random..

"Why is there a pickle?" I ask under my breath to no one in particular, then say. "Ok....now what?"

"Turn over the pickle."

My frown deepens, what the hell?  I thought, but you only live once and as far as I can tell all that is happening is an old man is trying to pull some kind of prank on me. No biggie, so I turn the pickle over and what I saw shocked and confused you.

The pickle had a face and it was talking. 

"I turned myself into a pickle! I'm PICKLE RICCCCKKKK!!!!" the pickle excitedly shouted at me.

"What the actual fuck." I said simply, staring at the...pickle? Man? Pickleman? 

"O-ok,  big reveal done, now  ha-*burp*-nd  me that syringe on the other side of the table." The pickle commanded.

"Why the hell are you a pickle? I should say HOW the hell are you a pickle?" I said, obviously still confused. "I mean, Beth said you may be drunk but she didn't say jack diddly about you being a friggen pickle person!"

"Bec-*burp*-ause  science." the pickle said simply. 

I stared at him for a moment, then walked over got the syringe. Since he didn't have hands to hand the syringe to, I injected the strange liquid into the pickleman. He promptly grew into a lanky older man with crazy light blue hair, a very naked lanky older man with crazy light blue hair.

"Oh my GOD! Nudity! My eyes! Argh!" I cried, covering my eyes with one hand and averting my gaze. 

"God isn't real, let me just rip that band-aid off  ri-*burp*-ght now." He said and hopped off the desk, making his way across the garage. I kept my eyes covered but heard the sound of wheels and peeked out to see the mower and a still naked old man. 

"H-here, you helped me so here's the mower." He said the pushed it over to me, then leading me out of the garage. 

"The name is Ri-*burp*-ck by the way, now get lost." He said simply, closing the garage door behind me.

Weirdest. Day. Ever. You thought as you walked back to your house to finally mow the lawn.

HEY GUYS! :D

Had a thought and decided to turn it into a half ass story, so here you go! 

Hope you enjoyed!