Matt in the Bathroom

//Scene 1\\

He didn't think that he could get any more pathetic than he was right then and there. And that was pretty pathetic. Hiding, standing alone, awkwardly wishing that he was currently anywhere else besides here. There was a small plus to being here. He didn't have to be all odd while standing around a bunch of drunk kids he didn't know. He wouldn't have to pretend to like the music playing or even fake drink out of the classic red solo cups. He wouldn't have to try to make conversation with people that really didn't want to hear a single word that he had to say, and truthfully he didn't want to be around people that wouldn't give him a second glance. Yet there he was, instead of being home doing literally anything else.

Let's explain, shall we, Matt, sweet sweet Matt had managed to actually get himself into one of the biggest parties of the school year. The big Halloween party, that everyone always went to even freshmen managed to sneak themselves in. And though he only got in because of his. His supposed best friend. This was supposed to be fun, he and shiro were going go to this party /together/ but of course, he had to go and vanish with none other than /Allura/ because everyone wanted to go off with Allura. She was beautiful, smart but kinda one sided. The more Matt got to know her, the less he liked her from how dull she really seemed to him. So everyone except himself, of course, wanted to ditch their best friend to be with her. Matt groaned loudly to himself, obviously to himself.

Matt stared at himself, stuck in his head for what had felt like forever. His eyes sunk into themselves, almost showing the heartbreak in them. Heartbreak he didn't even know he had. He couldn't stand to look at himself like this, like a pathetic wimp that he was. A pathetic wimp who's heart was breaking over his best friend ditching him. That's not normal best friend behavior, he knew it. But he was smart enough to refuse that fact.

Shutting his eyes for a moment, his heart sank as it all began to set in. He was actually hiding off in the bathroom, while everyone else had fun. Music was blaring, loud enough that he could hear it through the thick walls and apparently some girl, (Probably drunk) was singing terribly along to whatever trashy song was playing. Leaning forward he pressed his elbows against the counter, honey eyes bored as they stared at their own color. "Why'd he ditch me?" He slammed his hands down, the sudden noise even startled himself which caused him to then throw his fists up. He turned hastily and press his back against the cool countertop. His gaze falling down to the tile flooring that desperately needed to be mopped. "This wasn't supposed to happen. What even... what even was supposed to happen?"

He was /supposed/ to come to this with Shiro, have a good time. Make fun of drunk girls singing, do some of their own terrible singing while enjoying a few drinks, maybe a blunt or two. It was either this or stay inside and play the Switch for all hours of the night. But Shiro wanted to go so badly that Matt tagged along. Who knows, it was just- it was going to be a fun party. Till Mr. Im-trying-to-be-cool had to leave him alone to fend for himself.

Matt choked on his breath from the thoughts that pestered his mind, dropping his head into the palms of his hands. He couldn't seem to get the scene out of his head. Like Darth Vader dying, it's just burned in his head, playing again and again. Mocking him. Shiro had been acting weird for a while now but he had no idea why. Of course, there were ideas as to why but, those couldn't be right, right? Matt was just some idiot - what did he even know. At least that's what everyone said, what everyone knew.

Shiro lately had seemed so messy, his life was a wreck and everything wasn't going right for him. It was like something was holding him back or he was hiding something. Shiro was always really bad at keeping secrets. Matt always knew when something was wrong and something was totally wrong here. But anytime he tried to ask or bring it up, Shiro changed the subject or joked his way out of the conversation. Slowly Shiro seemed to start to avoid him, It wasn't much but just a little bit here and there. He wouldn't pick up calls and would make stupid excuses that neither of them believed to get out of hanging out with each other. At a certain point, Matt started to think that it was his own doing. That he caused this.

Was he the reason that Shiro didn't want to be around him anymore?

"You don't /even/ deserve to be here." He spat out at himself. Gaze harsh and blurry from the tears that started to rim at his eyes. His whole body was telling him this was silly, that he was just overreacting and Shiro could do whatever he wanted. He should be happy that Shiro went off with Allura. He'd have to take his glasses off here soon but what was the point? "You're just a loser who got ditched by his own best friend." The music blared around him as he snuffled his gentle cries. "By his only friend" There was a certain ache in his voice. What happened? They were perfect, a pair. Two halves of a whole. But that all fell apart. And what was he now? Matt had to be something other than a sidekick right? He was more than just the comic relief- more than the side character... right?

"Now look you're all alone! And he's there replacing you with some human upgrade of you! Because... who. Who even wants you- me as a friend.." Matt hissed through tears, his jaw clenching together as he was hesitant to turn and face himself again. "Look at you... you- you fucking mess." Still, the music played, the others outside those walls partied like nothing was happening. Their world was fine, it was a drunken daydream of music and drugs and dancing. While his whole world was crashing around him. As he started to realize everything.

This was sad... And he knew it all too well.

There was a bang on the door making every cell in Matt's body tense up. "No.." He mumbled weakly to himself. Another bang on the door had him silently wishing for any sort of god, goddess or anything to come down and take him from this mess right then and there. So much pressure and stress were building as every knock resounding on the old wood of the door. Every hit made him flinch, desperately turning on the sink to splash water in his face and hide the fact he had been crying and yelling at himself like some Shakespeare character. "Yeah - Yeah I'll be right out!" He choked, trying not to sound like he was nearly in tears. Though he was pretty sure it sounded just like that, hopefully, the way the music blared drowned out that weakness in his voice.

The water shut off, he reached for the bathroom door handle. A small whimper passing his lips as one final pray for help, but as soon as he made contact with the door the knocking stopped. There were a few distant voices grumbling from the door having been locked, but it was too faint to really make out what or who it was talking. And for a moment Matt was relieved. Well if by relieved he meant he wasn't breathing and his heart was pounding so loudly he could hear the blood rushing in his ears louder than he could hear the music. But as his heart calmed down: he was still just Matt in the bathroom by himself like a fucking loser.

"You're gonna have to go out there and face this like a man you know that." He huffed out, pressing his forehead against the back of the bathroom door. "It's not like anyone even knows you out there, and Shiro obviously doesn't give a fuck." It hurt as much to say that as it did to hear it. "Aren't you just /so/ glad you came to this?" Oh, sarcasm dripped from his tone of voice like honey off a spoon.

Matt took a few shaky breaths and slowly leaned back from the door. He reached out for the handle but pulled away and turned his back towards the only thing separating him from the rest of the party. His back pressed against the door, all of his weight went against it as he lowered himself down onto the dirty bathroom floor. Who knows how many teenagers have fucked on this very tile that he now sat on, holding his knees to his chest with a pain in his chest. A pain he knew what was.

"You're just overreacting aren't you" He mumbled softly to himself, coming down from his anger high. Now all that was left was the pain, the heartache. "This isn't how friends act, he's not just a friend is he?" Matt spoke softly to himself, so softly that he himself wasn't sure if sound was passing his lips.

There was a small knock on the door, it wasn't too hard but fast and rushed. "Is anyone in there?" It was Shiro.