Lies Are The Truth (RonRon) (KiaNessa)

Chapter 14: Suicide

Long chapter but u wouldn't understand the next chapters if u don't read this

Roni's POV

I dial my dad and my mom but they won't answer. Of course. I'm not even surprised. They're always busy they never have time for me. I dial Nessa but she also won't answer. She's probably with Kian.

I can't do this. I can't do this anymore. Everyone's so happy. Why? Why can't I be that happy? My life is a mess. My boyfriend hates me, my family doesn't have time for me, my sister is busy with another guy. Why am I unlovable? Why can't I just fall in love a marry the guy of my dreams? Why did I have to be so stupid? Why did I have to use him? Why? Just why?

I was in the middle of nowhere. I ran off to some place I don't know. I didn't know where I was going now I'm lost. I put my hands above my head and screamed my lungs out

"I HATE FUCKING HATE MYSELF. I HATE MY LIFE! WHY DO I HAVE TO BE FUCKING STUPID! UGH! I WISH I WAS NEVER BORN!" I said to myself crying

IM LOSING MY MIND IM GOING CRAZY I DONT KNOW WHAT TO THINK AND HOW TO THINK. I can imagine myself dead..I can imagine myself never born. Everyone would've been happy. My parents would be happy as Nessa being the only child...I remember hearing them once saying they wish they only had one child cuz two are too much to handle. Nessa would be happy not having a sister to fight with. Aaron would be happy with the girl of his dreams. A girl who wouldn't use him for fame. A girl who deserves him. I want to be that girl but I'm not. I know love drives people crazy but I didn't know it would drive me this crazy. I wanted to be gone. I wanted to die. I wanted the pain to end. I can't handle this anymore

I just ran wherever, not knowing where I was going. I decided...to stay in the side of the road and send Nessa a final letter. I cry thinking about the people that I love.

I'm not important. They don't need me in their life. All I do is create problems. They would be way happier without me. Nessa and Aaron would be happier without me. I love them with all my heart and will forever treasure my memories with them.

Dear Nessa,

      My sister, my best friend, my everything. you've always been there for me, ever since we were kids you would always defend me no matter what. I couldn't be any more thankful that you are my sister but I don't deserve you. You deserve so much more. All I do is create problems and drama in your life. The amount of times you've been there for me and defended me is uncountable. I don't know how you're not tired of fighting for me because all I do is literally create drama for you. I'm sorry. I really am. I try to be a good sister but I just can't. I was jealous of you but you weren't even mad. You understood. You're the only person that understands me the most so please understand that I'm going through so much pain right now that I...have to go.... no one loves me, no one needs me. No one ever will. It hurts thinking of that but I just have to deal with it. The thing is...I can't anymore. It's too much. The pressure....the pain...it's all too much. Im broken, everything is broken. My world is crashing down and I don't know what to do.  I'm losing my mind i don't think there's any other choice but to do this. As much as I wanna stay...I can't. This isn't just about love Nessa. This isn't just about what happened with Aaron. It's about everything. I think it's time to say goodbye,  I'm sorry. I love you Nessa and will forever cherish our memories together. Tell Mom and Dad I'm sorry if I created so much problems. Tell Aaron I love him and always will. Tell Angie thank you for being my best friend. And thank you...for being my sister. The sister I've always dreamed of. This is my goodbye letter to you. I'm sorry Nessa....I love you and goodbye....

                                          Love, Veronica

I cried while writing the letter and pressed send. I went in the middle of the road waiting for a car that will run me over. I can't do this anymore.