Don't Call Me Baby

16 | THE HEARTBREAKER'S HEARTBREAK

That night me and Archer kissed like there was no tomorrow because there really wasn't. At least not for me and him together.

We kissed and we held each other and then we did this all over again.

My parents never came out looking for me, but I was sure they knew that their only daughter was making out with the most troublesome guy in town right in the backyard, under the window of their bedroom.

We slept there, on the green grass, looking at the stars and trying to connect constellations in the sky which was clear and peaceful unlike our tainted hearts.

We talked about poetry and music and everything in-between.

We even discussed my long living emo phase that never seems to leave me completely. Archer confessed that he had a thing for girls with black, rebellious clothes in the wardrobe. I guess this was another way to say he had a thing for me, but if I hadn't known that already I would've been the epitome of Captain Obvious.

It's the morning now and I don't really know how to feel. I packed my luggage in a rush, hoping I got everything I would potentially need.

You can guess how stressful it was having to pack half of the house in two suitcases and still manage not to be late for the flight.

Archer left early morning, in fact I woke up on my own, smiling happily in the middle of our daisy covered lawn. I have to admit that I was a bit disappointed that we didn't get to say our goodbyes especially after the night before. I am not ready to forgive him and it will probably take a long time to find it in me to communicate with him again, but that doesn't mean I don't love him. Because, God, I am so fucking in love and I can't be bothered to lie about it. Why should I?  After all love in itself is a beautiful thing, what is not beautiful is the heartbreak that comes with it.

But everything in life, I learned, is a sword with two ends and as much as something can bring you happiness, it can also bring you infinite sadness.

It really comes down to what you decide to concentrate on and I decided to remember every happy moment I've experienced throughout the eighteen years of my life in this small crappy town, instead of the bad and the ugly.

I will remember what happened and I will learn from it but I won't let it dictate my life from now on.

A new beginning doesn't mean that everything you knew before stops existing, in fact what surrounded you before will continue to be there, you just decide to stop paying attention to it by turning a new page.

I, Jordan Blue, am about to write a new story that doesn't involve neither Stella Brown nor Archer Finn. They are nothing but history.

Or that's what I thought.

"Jordy!"
"Jordan Margaret Blue!"
Nobody knows my second name except for my mom, dad, Stella and-

"Archer?" I turn around with my heavy suitcases in both hands which are then long forgotten and thrown on the floor of the airport.

And there he is. Running towards me with his eyes concentrated on only one target which is me right before I cross the check point.

And he makes it right in the last second. I am only meters away from writing a new page of my story but I guess the previous one is yet to be finished.

A smile springs onto my face. A smile I hadn't smiled in a long time. It's one of those smiles that make your cheeks hurt and your heart beat faster in anticipation for what is to come.

And then Archer Finn reaches me and suddenly, in the small airport, he leans in and kisses me. My parents are right behind me, the airport employees are shouting at me to get through the check point because the plane is leaving in no more than three minutes.

And in the center of this entire chaos is me and Archer, kissing as if our lives depend on it, as if nothing else matters.

And it doesn't, at least not now. Not when we know this is the last time we'll be able to hold each other.

And I couldn't be happier with how my story with Archer is about to end.

When we pull apart at last, we just stand there smiling at each other giddily for no reason and all the reasons at the same time.

"This is it. The day." He said breathily and the smile on his face twitches a little bit. "I can't believe its finally here. I can't believe my little blue birdie is leaving."

"Archer, are you crying?" I ask incredulously.

"Yes, I am. Don't mind me, something got stuck in my eye." He tries to liven up the mood by adding in a laugh that strikes more as a cry than anything.

"I might cry, too. Stop it."

"If I could, I would. But guess what, baby, if I could I wouldn't have fallen in love with you and would have saved myself from this heartbreak."

"Are you saying I'm the heartbreaker's heartbreaker, mr. Finn?"

"You didn't mind me calling you baby? Who are you and where is Jordie?" He teases and we both erupt into loud laughter that is definitely an attempt not to cry.

It's always better to laugh than cry, right?

And of course my eyes start glistening with tears right after thinking about it. Classic.

"No, no, no. I'm not letting you cry because of me anymore. I don't- Jordan I never want you to feel sad, promise me, huh?" He says and squeezes my face in between his palms, while his eyes water once again. He starts hiccuping and we just stand there crying for each other and what could've been.

What wont be.

"I can't promise you something like this, Archer. In fact, when I land on LAX I'll probably spend a good hour and a half crying my eyes out in the toilet, but that doesn't matter. What matters is what I'm going to promise you." I take in a deep breath and touch my lips to his, only to then trace them to his ear and whisper. "I promise you to be happy and I hope you will be too."

And then I turn around, grab my belonging and without looking back at him anymore, in fear that I might just jump into his arms instead of catching my flight, I pass through the check point and make my way to the plane and my new future.