i find myself missing you,
missing him.
you leave for her,
he leaves for college,
and me i'm
alone again.
i can't find a home in someone's heart,
but how can i love them both.
he's with another,
loving her
and his life.
and you're gone,
learning to become a better person,
so we can have a future.
i don't deserve you.
i wanted you to leave so i could be free,
but i find myself with a hole in my chest,
in the same place he left one.
why am i like this?
longing for the people i can't have,
the ones out of reach,
the ones that leave,
the ones that stay,
but have to go away.
i can't find myself feelings whole.
i need to be my own person,
that's what they tell me.
but life is so much more vibrant
and beautiful
with that one person by your side.
i'm a horrible person.
i love him,
i have you,
i love you,
but i don't have him.
why am i always longing?
a.m.
