My Backstage Boyfriend | teen fiction

act 1, scene 15 - thanks

I'm not one to exaggerate. I don't think I'm overly dramatic, despite being an actress. At least, I try not to be.

Keeping that in mind, when I describe that Thanksgiving as the worst Thanksgiving ever, know that I mean it.

From the outside it looked normal. A classic holiday set up. My dad sat at the head of the table, with Harvey and my mom on either side of him. I sat next to my mom, Emmy next to me, Celia next to her. My grandparents sat next to Harvey, and then Aunt Lois sat at the opposite head of the table with her new girlfriend no one knew she was bringing.

I wasn't sure if the adults could feel the horrific tension that was mounting between all of the teens at the table. Celia and Harvey had sat as far as possible from each other. She couldn't even look me in the eye. Harvey was a little more bold and we mouthed snippets of an argument at each other.

Imagine - He was mad at me(!) for walking in! I saw a few things wrong with this. 1. That was my best friend's older sister. Weird. 2. Lock the freaking door if you're going to get down and dirty!

All the soap in the world wouldn't be able to cleanse my eyes from what I saw.

Meanwhile, poor Emmy was caught cluelessly in the middle. She had no idea what was going on and when she looked at me her eyes were as round as saucers. I wanted to tell her... But what do you even say in that scenario?

Hey so uhh... I caught my older brother having sex with your older sister. Actually, that's probably what I should've said. Oh well. It wasn't like I could just blurt it out over dinner.

The next layer of insanity is what made it incredibly uncomfortable for everyone involved. The second my Aunt Lois walked in with her girlfriend (Kim, if anyone was wondering), Kim whispered, "I want to leave," into her ear. Whether or not she thought she was being discrete is a mystery, but long story short, they did not leave and Kim hadn't uttered a word since.

The nail in the coffin was my grandparents showing up semi-drunk. About a third of everything they said was incoherent and my grandma fell asleep almost the moment she sat down.

"These are excellent potatoes, Linda. I swear, you just can't get good, home-style mashed potatoes in Hawaii! Can't you, Kim?" Kim sat stoically as Aunt Lois awkwardly laughed it off and nudged her. She didn't move.

"I'm so glad you like them and that you were able to come stateside to visit." My mom smiled warmly.

"Hey, hey, but you know what you can get in Hawaii?" Aunt Lois mused.

I took the bait, "What?"

"A sunburn! Aloha-ha-ha!" She cackled at her own joke. "Seriously though, Penny you should totally come out to the big island for winter break. Emmy you're welcome too, and all of you other kids."

Holy cow, Hawaii? Heck yeah!

"That would be amazing, but unfortunately Celia and I already have winter break plans. We're going to Ireland to stay with family and tour colleges. Y'know, because of our mom we have dual citizenship so schools there are a lot cheaper." Emmy was so shy around kids our own age, but around adults she spoke so seamlessly. It was the weirdest thing.

Aunt Lois appreciated that, "Very smart, taking your education seriously. Ireland, a whole other kind of island! Pack your rain boots. But, Pen, Harv, think about it."

"Lois, that's very generous of you to invite them out, but how are you going to fit everyone? I thought you were living in a studio apartment?" My mom knit her eyebrows in concern.

"Crabcakes! I need summa those crabcakes, they nourish my soul!" My grandpa bellowed. It woke my grandma up, but just for a moment. Soon, she was nodding back off in her chair.

"Here, Dad," My dad stood and passed him the crabcakes. I'd heard wild stories of what my grandparents were like when they were drunk, but I'd never actually seen it. It was some welcome comic relief.

Aunt Lois got us back on track, "Oh man, did I not tell you guys? The old lady who used to own the Sunset Bay resort that I used to take care of... Well, she died and left her estate to me. She had no relatives and I guess she liked me enough to leave the place to me."

"Is Sunset Bay the place with all the commercials always playing before YouTube videos?" Emmy questioned.

"Hey!" Lois lit up. "That was my idea! Now I know they're working!"

Everyone looked dumbfounded. What were the chances of being gifted an entire resort? It was like winning the lottery ten times over.

My mom actually looked a little upset. I could imagine it being difficult. I knew she wanted to be happy for her sister, but at the same time was a little hurt that such a wonderful opportunity had just been handed to her. In the family, my mom had always been the cheerleader, top of her class, college graduate, successful mom and wife. Now, the tables had turned a little bit.

"So, are you like, loaded?" Harvey finally broke the silence.

"I mean, I guess," she said as she shoveled her last mouthful of potatoes into her mouth. It was quiet for a moment as she chewed and swallowed. "So, everybody ready for turkey?"

"I'll get it," My mom muttered, clearing away the appetizer/side dishes to make room.

She disappeared into the kitchen and shrieked. Most of us rushed in to see what was happening, leaving my grandma and Kim at the table.

"RANDY! NO!" My mom screamed, trying to nudge him gently with a broom.

Somehow, the turkey had either fallen or been pulled to the floor by the dog. After taking a couple bites, he decided to start humping it! What was with all the boys in this house? Nobody wants to see that.

We lost a good turkey that day. No one wanted to eat a bird covered with fur that a chubby hound had gotten freaky with.

With disappointment, we walked back into the dining room only to discover Kim pulling out my sleeping grandma's dentures! My dad jumped to his mother's aide and put them back in for her.

"Kim! What on Earth were you doing?" Aunt Lois exclaimed.

"I just wanted to smell them," she whispered. Everyone looked at her in disgust.

"That's okay, I like to sniff 'em too," My drunken grandpa slurred.

So Thanksgiving concluded like this. Kim was sent packing (my aunt had no interest in whatever tooth fetish thing she had going on). My grandparents ended up crashing in the guest room as they were too intoxicated to drive - Lord knows how they got to the house in the first place. Aunt Lois crashed on the couch after we all stuffed our faces with Chinese food.

I didn't end up having to tell Emmy what happened, as she caught Harvey and Celia a second time, this time in the mini-van. We both collectively freaked out about it. They were really not taking as much precaution as they thought they were. I couldn't even look at my older brother without that horrendous image attacking my mind.

All-in-all, I guess things could've been worse, I'm just not exactly sure how. By the end of break I was antsy to get back to school and more importantly, back to rehearsal.

//

Hi guys, I know these chapters were a little different, but I thought after how serious the first homecoming chapter was it would be nice to do something light-hearted and fun. Hopefully you enjoyed getting to know Penny and her family a little better!