Little Sparrow Mills

Chapter 5

"You've barley touched your dinner dear. You need to eat." Regina said. I could just feel her eyes on me and I didn't want to look up. It wasn't that I didn't want to eat, but after not really being fed much, my stomach couldn't take a lot. Regina sighed and continued her meal. I didn't know how much longer I could keep this whole silence thing going. I knew eventually that I would have to tell her what happened and my whole story. But I wasnt ready...after the last few years with no one to talk to or reach out to, no one to really care, I just didnt have the energy. I started to yawn not really knowing where things would go after dinner. Regina looked over to me, "Well, if you're not going to eat, I think its time for you to go to bed." She said in the most motherly tone. I was not used to this at all and just looked at her confused. "You need more rest dear. You're still very weak." She said getting up and motioning me towards the bed. She pulled the covers back and helped me in. I laid back and out of the corner of my eye I seen her hand reaching across from me and out of habit I flinched. "Hey, it's alright. I was just reaching for the blanket to tuck you in." She said sweetly as she pushed a strand of her hair back. She started to walk away and the words "Im sorry" just came out. I'm not sure why those words slipped out of my mouth. She turned around with a small smile and walked back to sit on the edge of the bed. "You have nothing to be sorry for sweetie. When I told you were safe with me I meant it. I know you've....you've been through a lot." She said with tears beginning in her eyes."When you're ready, im here to talk. About anything you want. I wont pressure you. Im not going anywhere. I just want to help you." And at that, thats when I had tears beginning in my eyes. Why was she being nice? Why? It just didnt make sense. Then at the same time we both looked away to wipe our tears. The weirdest thing. "Get some sleep. Ill just be over here reading."

As tired as I was, I dreaded falling asleep. For as long as I could remember, the nightmares came every night. Nightmares from all the different homes I had been in throughout my life but for the last few weeks the nightmares had been about her. Of all the homes I'd been in, that one was the worst. How could anyone be that cruel and heartless.... And then that horrible day....almost being raped. That still lingered on me as well. Oh I just wish these thoughts would go away! I sighed as I put my hands on my head and rolled over trying to get more comfortable. I looked over and seen Regina sitting there reading. I then looked at my hand and thought about when I shook her hand. I can't explain it but I felt something. Some connection. It was weird. I rubbed my hand feeling like I could still feel that shock of....whatever that was I felt. Something in my heart was telling me I could trust her, but my mind was telling me not to. All the demons running through my head was telling me that I wasn't lovable, that I wasnt good enough. They kept telling me I was worthless and that no one could ever love or want me. Oh my head really hurts!! Why wont this pain just go away! I thought as I grabbed my head.

I looked up from my reading and could see the trouble Sparrow was having getting to sleep. She rolled over and I could see she was trying to get more comfortable. I decided I would leave her be and continued my reading. I dont know how long had passed but I heard her whimpering out and holding her head...I sat my book down and walked over to sit next her. "Sparrow...are you alright dear?" I said as calmly as I could. "My head...my body....just...hurts..." I could hear the pain in her voice and could see the tears swelling in her eyes. I moved a little closer and hovered my hand over her head when she looked up,"N...no!" She cried out moving away from me. "Its ok....I can take the pain away. It wont hurt I promise." I could tell she was skeptical and a little afraid by the way she was studying me. But she reluctantly gave me a nod. I gave a small smile and held out my hand. "Dont worry. This wont hurt. And should help you sleep." Just as I was about to cast a small spell she grabbed my wrist which took me by surprise. I gave a puzzled but soft look. After a moment of trying to read her, it clicked. Ah! "Sleep? Is that what's troubling you?" She slowly let go of my wrist and looked away. The tears that were swelling her eyes now spilled over silently. "The nightmares..."she softly spoke. I almost didnt even hear her. "Well I...I can stay right here with you tonight. If...if you...want." She looked back up at at me wiping her face and my heart sank. "Hey, its ok. I'll be here the whole time. I promise." When she gave me a nod I put my hand back up and waved my magic over her. "Mmm..." she winced a little. I slowly moved the covers back and slid in next to her but tried to give her some space. I looked over and seen her almost asleep. She was more calm and relaxed which made me happy. Then out of no where she gently laid her head next to me. She very faintly whispered a thank you before falling straight asleep. I smiled down at her and brushed the hair out of her face. Goodnight my darling girl. I eventually let sleep take me too. Sometime during the night I was jolted awake with Sparrow thrashing and crying hysterically. "Please! No more!" She cried out over and over. "Sparrow you're safe. Shhh. Its ok. You're safe." I shushed her but was failing to get her out of that horrible nightmare. I knew if I touched her it would bring her out but I really didn't want another episode of the other night. "Please! Stop!" I tried again,"Sparrow. It's ok dear. You're safe." It was heartbreaking seeing her like this.

        I was in my dungeon cell asleep when I was awoken to the door slamming open. It was her. The wicked witch. I cowered to the farthest corner to try to get away from her but I knew it was no good. "Please! I didn't do anything. I swear!" I pleaded with her. "Oh! I know you didn't!" She said with a cackle. I knew she must have been prying into that womans life again. Whenever she did, it always ended badly for me.... before I could even speak she had me tied in the air and the back of my shirt open. "Please." I cried. "I don't even know her! Why are you doing this?" I managed to get out before the first lash was struck on my bare skin. I moaned out in pain but made sure I didn't scream out. That always made it worse. "Because! Little bird..." she said inflicting another lash. A small whimper escaped my lips. "She took everything away from me!" Another lash, a bit harder than the last. "Please!!" I began to cry. "But thats all going to change." She said very venomously, striking another lash that did cause me to cry out. "Ah! There it is!!" Another and another lash struck. "Please stop. Please." I whimpered out before the last and strongest lash was given that almost made me pass out. I was then let go of whatever force was suspending me in the air and hit the floor hard and fast. I heard her footsteps coming closer and closer to me. I tried with all my strength to get away but she swooped up very close and grabbed my chin so hard im sure she left marks. "Look at me?" She spat out. I tried avoiding her gaze but she jerked my face so hard, I had no choice. "Dont worry little bird. This is just the beginning!" She said shoving me away and standing to leave. "Now be a good little bird and clean yourself up!" After she left the room I barley made it to the cot and just cried and cried. "Sparrow. Shh. Its ok. You're ok." I faintly heard. "Please. No more." I cried out before I felt hands on my shoulders and tried to fight away the touch of whoever was touching me. "NO. NO. NO." I screamed over and over fighting to get away. "Shhhh. Shhh. You're safe Sparrow. You're safe." Regina said as she placed her hands over my cheeks. I grabbed both her hands trying to pull them away but her grip was safe but stern. "Hey. Look at me. Look at me Sparrow." she said more sternly. I opened my eyes and let out the breath I didn't realize I was holding. "Its ok. You're ok." I looked both to my right and left and back to her. It felt so real. It always felt so real. Like I was really back there. Regina took her hands away and I tried to sit up a bit. I pulled my knees up to my chest and tried to even my breathing. We both sat there for a moment in silence, then Regina finally spoke up. "Do you wanna talk about it?" I continued to just stare down at the blankets. I heard her sigh and then she put her hand on my knee,"You can tell me any..." but before she could finish that sentence I shot up out of the bed and ran to the bathroom slamming the door. This was all too much. My mind was racing all over the place and I just wanted a moment to myself. I heard Regina making her way to the door and I just slid down to the ground. "Sweetie. Its ok. You dont have to talk about it if you don't want to." She said, but I didn't reply. She then knocked on the door gently but when I still didn't respond she tried to come in but I had locked it. "Just go away." I quietly cried out. "Please...."

        I didn't want to leave her alone in there after the nightmare she had just had but when she told me to go away, I knew I shouldn't push her and gave her some space. I decided I would just sit on the other end of the door just to be there if she did need me. I put my head in my hands feeling utterly useless and so guilty. It was all my fault that she had had the life she did. The guilt I felt only intensified when I heard her sobbing. Whoever did this, will pay! I thought to myself. After a few hours, the sobs became silent and I figured the girl had cried herself to sleep. I poofed myself inside and was heartbroken to see her curled into herself. I quietly made my way over to her and brushed the hair out of her face. She seemed a little at peace or at least not bothered with nightmares. I didnt want to wake her so I waved my hand and got her to bed unnoticed. I crawled carefully into bed next to her and just stared at her till sleep found me as well.