let me ask you a question
does all this time apart bring to your attention all the time spent giving my affection?
you taking for granted all my emotions?
you were always good at math
did you ever think another guy can come into the equation?
you and i. we walked fearlessly through that fragile line of friendship
where it's close enough on the edge to fall in an ocean of love yet also near the hot center of the volcano, where hate and repressed emotions bubbles up?
we never had a chance, i was full ready with my heart on my sleeve ready for any risk
to end the thoughts and doubts that clouded my mind
while you on the other hand, ran away with your tail between you legs scared of the what if
suddenly all that disappeared.
i spent months on months hating on my self esteem
wondering what it was that made you turn around and run?
was it my weight? my face? my grades? my hair
you've always said you never cared.
I changed myself because of you
suddenly i found myself walking home drunk with another man every night trying to find someone who would validate my feelings and tell me i am enough.
the thing is there was a man, that did just that.
is that why you came up to me months later?
complaining and comparing yourself to him.
accusing me of picking the wrong guy
is that why suddenly you wanted to meet him and to call me and text me when you knew i was with him?
damn it
i gave you all the chance in the world but suddenly i'm not yours and you have the audacity to say
you miss me
you never expressed you thoughts to me but now you gave me an explosion of all your emotions.
you turned my once peaceful mind
into a chaotic mess of tumblings theories
knowing you'll never address them
feels like i am trying to disarm a ticking bomb
across the field is the code but its rigged with mines
just wrong move can destroy everything in sight
with no one to help me figure it out, you have me once again, all worn out.
i'm afraid this is another of your games and if i open my mouth then it all falls apart
what can i do ? if i express it all, i won't be the only one hurt, it will be all
