cold coffee.

ch. 10

(listen to all i want by kodaline while you read if u want extra angst)

I don't remember much of what happened 

after you left or after I read the letter. 

I remember the cold, empty feeling in my 

chest and stomach. 

My stomach had curled in on itself,

the flickering warmth that used to be there

had finally

burned me. 

At first I was mad. I broke a lamp. 

the anger didn't last long. 

Then came the restlessness.

I went back to the corner store and asked

Felix if he had seen you. 

"No, but here. My number, if you need me

or anything at all mate, just call." He smiled and 

I took the paper without thinking then left quickly.

It was mania. 

I couldn't sleep for more than an hour at a time, 

the nightmares kept me awake. 

But then, everything stopped. 

I wouldn't get out of bed for anything except work. 

I slept all day on the weekends and my days off. 

I stopped eating. 

I would rack my brain for answers everyday. 

why would you say you loved me?

why would you leave if you really had loved me?

I couldn't do anything without thinking

of you. 

I felt dumb, it was only a short time I had known you. 

And yet, 

It felt like a lifetime. 

Weeks passed with the same 

emptiness never leaving me. 

Then finally, I decided I would do exactly

what you told me to do. 

Forget you.