all the wrong choices // drarry

wanted/unwanted

At the end of the lesson, Draco rushed out of the dungeon before anybody else. He heard Blaise call after him, but did not stop walking until he was in his dormitory. He was relieved to find it empty, and quickly pulled off his tie and threw it across the room, dropping on to his bed and staring up at the ceiling.

The door opened, and Draco lifted his head to see Harry coming into the room.

"What do you want, Potter?" he asked coldly, his gaze flickering away from Harry's handsome face and back up to the stone ceiling.

"That's nice," said Harry, rolling his eyes. "What's up with you at the moment? I feel like you're avoiding me."

"And what of it?"

Harry frowned at him as he sank onto Pansy's bed. "What do you mean? I thought we were friends, now! I thought we were getting on alright!"

Draco did not look at him, and said, "Why would you think that?"

"Are you fucking stupid?" Harry snarled, anger rising in his chest. "Do I really have to remind you that we snogged twice?"

"They didn't mean anything," Draco lied.

Harry scoffed. "Then why did you kiss me?"

"Me?" Draco sat up and looked across the room at Harry, laughter in his voice. "You kissed me first!"

Harry went scarlet. "I - the room was hot ... got to my head..."

"That's Hippogriff shit, and you know it," Draco seethed. "You kissed me on your own accord, and I let it happen. It was a foolish mistake, and one that I deeply regret."

"If you regret it so much why did you kiss me again?" Harry asked at once.

Draco did not answer for a moment. His heart was hammering against his chest and he could feel colour rushing into his cheeks. He wasn't sure what Harry was trying to get at, nor what he was going to say that would give him a viable excuse as to why he had been avoiding Harry since they had last spoken without giving himself away.

"I don't know," he said at last. "I suppose I was feeling lonely and angry and - and depressed because of the argument with my parents. I've never left the house like that before and I was scared of what would happen next. Excuse me for seeking comfort."

Harry scoffed again. "'Seeking comfort'? You could have asked for something else, instead of kissing me again!"

" Please ," Draco laughed humourlessly. "You were asking for it."

"What?" said Harry angrily. "I was not!"

Draco said nothing, continuing to stare determinedly at the ceiling. Arguing with Harry like this was awful; the polar opposite of what Draco really wanted to do with him... He wanted to hold him in his arms and kiss him until his lips were sore. He wanted to-

"Draco!" said Harry loudly, recalling Draco from his thoughts. He stared across the room at Harry, who was watching him with an expression that resembled a mix between curiosity, confusion and anger.

"Sorry," Draco found himself saying. "I - never mind."

"Why did you kiss me again?" Harry asked.

"Does it matter?" Draco sighed.

"Yes!"

"But why?"

Now it was Harry's turn to pause and ponder what to say next. He didn't know why he was so determined to find out more about his and Draco's extremely brief romantic involvement. It seemed like it would greatly benefit him in the future, but he didn't know why. Harry let out a groan of frustration: there was so much he felt like he needed to do or wanted to do for reasons he himself did not know!

He got up and moved to the door. His hand was reaching for the doorknob when Draco spoke again, "Leaving so soon?"

Harry turned around and gave him a stony look. "I know when I'm not wanted."

He threw open the door and stormed out of the room, leaving to Draco stare after him sadly. After a moment, Draco angrily punched his pillow and suppressed a frustrated roar. Why was he so determined to put up a wall and refuse to let anyone in? Not his parents, not Pansy; his best friend, not even the boy whom he was so very in love with. This inexplicable habit of his had caused people to be pushed from Draco's life after being nothing but patient with him. He greatly resented himself for this tendency of his. He wasn't sure that Harry would ever speak to him again...