you&me// c.d & n.g

nineteen

*Lilly's POV*

I woke up and see Cam lying next to me, still asleep. I quickly snap a picture, but forget the flash is still on, waking him up.

"W-wait w-what?" He asks, confused, "Did you just-"

I get up and run out of the room. I got to the top steps and I could hear him behind me, so I yelled at Matt and once he looked up I threw my phone down, "Post that pic on Twitter!" I screamed, he looked at my phone and laughed.

"MATT DONT YOU FUCKING DARE!"

Cam got to the top step and started to go down but I pulled him in for a long kiss to distract him.

"It's done!" Matt yelled

I pulled away and ran off, leaving Cam confused.

I plopped down on the couch, grabbing my phone from Matt and looking the tweet.

"@lillsxo: Awe Cam's sleeping. Crop a pic of you in and send it to me! I'll retweet some! pic.twitter53957"

"MATT THATS NOT FUCKING FUNNY!" Cam screamed.

Gilinsky came downstairs, followed by Johnson.

"We need to do something, just us, okay?" Gilinsky said to me.

"Beach trip. North Carolina beaches suck compared to California beaches..."

"What was that about North Carolina?" I heard someone say.

"Hayes! I missed you!" I said running up to him and wrapping him in a hug.

"I missed you too!"

"W-wait. Where's-"

"Me?" I look up and there he was.

"Uh yeah you."

"I'm right here," Nash said, "Now I heard you had a thing for Cam..."

"Maybe." I mumbled.

He laughed, "Your such a whore, you know that? Cam we slept together every night. The morning we left we took a shower together. I probably could have convinced her to have sex with me if I tried, luckily I didn't. She probably has some sort of STD. She's a slut and just wants to get in your pants!" He was getting angrier.

"Nash fuck off," Hayes said.

"No! I poured my heart out to her and she could never say the same to me! Do you know what that did to me?!"

Tears were brimming my eyes.

"Answer me!" He yelled, getting in my face.

"Back off Nash!" Cam said, grabbing my hand.

"No she's mine!" Nash said pulling me back and putting a knife against my throat.

Gilinsky, Johnson, Cam, Matt, Carter, Taylor, Shawn and Hayes were surrounding us.

My heart rate picked up. What is he going to do to me?

"Cut yourself." Nash said.

"What?" He released me and handed me the knife pulling out a gun and keeping it pointed toward my head.

"LILLY NO!" Cam yelled.

"SHUTUP OR I'LL SHOOT HER!" Nash yelled. "Cut yourself so you know the pain I felt. Cut yourself so you know how ugly; pathetic, worthless you are. So you know how much I hate you. So you know that nobody needs you. Your unwanted, unloved. Nobody wants you in their lives. We all want you gone. Just cut yourself. Or better yet, kill yourself and get it over with."

I started crying. Is it true? Am I really that worthless?

I looked into his eyes. They weren't his. They were red and glossy. This wasn't him. He was high.

Gilinsky must've noticed it too; because he mouthed to Taylor; who was behind Nash, that one tackle could knock him out.

Taylor listened and attacked him from behind. Nash screamed.

"No I want her dead! I want her dead!" He yelled.

Shawn started to call the cops but Gilinsky just shook his head, "Hayes needs him. Plus he's high. He doesn't mean it."

Or does he?

I dropped to the ground and buried my face in my hands. Maybe I was a slut. Maybe I needed to die. Maybe, just maybe, Nash was right.

I heard all of the guys talking around me but I zoned them all out and drowned myself in my own thoughts.

"Lilly, don't believe him. Your not a slut, your gorgeous. Plus I bet he was lying about the shower thing." Cam laughed slightly. I looked at him. "He wasn't lying?" I shook my head.

"Cam I didn't want to! I was scared he would hate me if I didn't."

"Y-your scared of me?" I heard him stutter.

I turned around. Nash was standing there, looking at me. Watery eyes.

"I was scared that you would hate me. But now- yes. I am scared of you."

He started walking toward me, "Lilly I didn't-"

"No, Nash. You don't get another chance, okay? You told me how worthless I am, and I'm kind of believing it, okay? You got what you wanted." He started to object but I just walked upstairs and locked the door to my bedroom.

I walked into the bathroom and slit my arms, deeper and deeper every time. I cried and laid back on the floor.

I'm ready to go. I'm ready to die.

Then I woke up.

I was crying. Cam was shaking me.

"Babe babe babe! It's okay. It's okay. Wake up. Wake up!" He sounded like he was crying a bit too.

I opened my eyes and looked at him.

He wrapped me in a hug. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah it's fine. I just. I gotta get ready."

I slipped on some white shorts and a black tank top that said "flawless" on it. I slipped on my teal vans and walked in the bathroom. I straightened my hair and put a beanie that was the same color as my vans, on.

Then I put some makeup on. My usual. But before I put my scar cream on, I pulled out my blade.

"Here's for being worthless." I said to my reflection and then slicing my arm. I put my scar cream on.

I grabbed my phone and walked out. I walked downstairs and all the guys were down there.

"I-is uh. Nash coming anytime soon?"

"I don't think so. Nobody's really heard from him." Taylor said. I nodded.

"I-I think I'm gonna go shopping."

"You want one of us to come?" Cam asks.

"No. I wanna go by myself."

I grabbed Gilinsky's keys and walked out.

Authors note:

Heyy guys!

A lot happened in this chapter, I feel like.... Whoops.

So school starts in like... 7 days. :( so I'm trying to write as much as I can.

IM ALMOST AT FREAKING 1K READS LIKE HOLY SHIT ASBEKLWNRBIWKRBHYWRNBTIOSJUWKRHRI THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH'

Okay but thanks guys for reading and voting and all that jazz.

Hope you have a good day.

Ily all

-Caitlyn