I'm fineㅣJihan

-1-

How many of you said "I'm fine" when you're actually not?

I've said this. On more than one occasion.

But what do we really mean?
"I'm not fine. Please help me."

We can't all be brave and strong 24/7. Sometimes we need someone. A friend. A sibling. A stranger. Someone you can lean on because you don't have the will to go on.

Yoon Jeonghan. Yes. He was who I leaned on. My stranger. He was there when the whole world wasn't.

Let me tell you a story.

On October 4th I attempted suicide. Why? Oh let me tell you. My boyfriend cheated on me. My "friends" turned on me. My life was full of constant stress and anxiety. I was already depressed long before any of this mess happened, they just seemed to put me over the edge. Literally.

I was standing at the railing over a bridge. I told myself, "you're ready Joshua. Just jump and end the pain." I stepped over the railing and stood at the edge.

"Stop" a stranger said.
"What are you doing?" He asked.

"It is none of your business." I replied.

"Are you trying to kill yourself?"

"Yes. Now would you be please let me continue? That would be great."

"No.
Today is my birthday. Birthdays are a celebration of new life. You're just ruining it by making it death day. Do you want to end your life knowing that you messed up my birthday?"

I was ridiculously confused. "What??"

"Come back over the edge and celebrate my birthday with me. I have no one to spend it with so stay with me just for tonight and then you can jump tomorrow. Okay?"

I looked at him. He was incredibly beautiful. Handsome. Gentle.

"I'm not really giving you a choice so come over here and celebrate my birthday with me."

And so I climbed over, not knowing what I'm getting myself into.

This was the first time he save me.