Behind the armor

Past catching up

Here i was sitting in a very awkward position with my ex-boyfriend and my friend which i happened to kiss and slept with

I know that sounds wrong but thats all we did SLEEP.  

"Your gonna pay for that window"i said directing my attention to Jackson

"My parents might be away but you are paying for that" he looked at Hunter examining him

"Whos this?" He asked confused

"Im her-" Hunter started to reply but i quickly cut him off and finished the sentence

"-boyfriend" i looked over at Hunter frantic for him to play along

"Yes yes i am and you are?" He moved closer to me and put him arm around my waist

"Jackson May her ex-boyfriend"he looked doubtful

I would have to explain later to Hunter about why i wanted him to think i was taken

Jackson although sweet and we lasted 4 years left me and didnt even bother to call me or text me afterwords.

He was a jerk in a way. I snapped out of my thoughts when i realized that i had blanked out

"So why are you here?" Hunter asked him

"None of your business" then he turned to me

"Gosh you really replaced me with him you couldve done better" i grimaced at what he said

"Get out of my house and dont forget to pay for the window or i will acuse you to the police" i practically shouted

He scowled at my words but then slowly walked out

"You to go home ive had enough drama for tonight" i said turning around to Hunter after Jackson walked out the door

He stared at me "what?" I said confused as to why he just stared at me

"Are you going to explain to me what happened back there" he motioned toward the door where Jackson had walked out

I realized how crazy it must have looked to him

"Lets go upstairs to my room and ill explain" and together we walked upstairs to my room we sat on the bean bags and i explained everything

By the time i was done it was 1:37 am and i realized with a jolt that it was a school night.

Hunters mom probably thought he was already asleep.

I suddenly stood up and he followed "Whats wrong?"

I started pushing him towards the door as best as i could "out,out,out,out,out" we were suddenly in the balcony

"Its a school night we need to rest"and at that he laughed

"Bye" and i walked back in closing my doors not allowing him to say more. I then jumped on my bed and tryed to get sleep

The fact that it had been so easy for Jackson to break-in made me self aware that i was all alone in my house and no one would protect me if something happened.

I stayed as much time trying to resist what my brain was asking me to do, but then i looked over at my clock and it was 3am and i hadn't slept at all.

At times like these i wish i had a dog and then i vowed to myself that tommorow first thing afterschool i would go get a dog.

I also decided on getting a job to start saving up for college to get out of this hell hole. As of right now tho i wanted protectection and i knew just where to get it.

I slowly walked over to the balcony and jumped over to the other one. I tried the door knob and i was surprised to find it unlocked.

I tiptoed inside and saw a room with a couple of boxes but a king sized bed with Hunter sprawled on top of it.

His hair messy and his mouth slightly open letting out drool and his body taking up almost all the space.

I walked slowly over there and tapped his shoulder "Hunter" i whisper shouted he wouldn't budge

"Hunter" i said one more time he then slightly jumped up and was surprised to find me there

"Amber what the hell are you doing here?" He asked half asleep

I was thinking of an answer when he talked again "Can't get enough of me huh i knew you'd come around i just didnt know it would be so soon" i then grabbed a pillow and threw it at his face

"I can't sleep you idiot im scared can i sleep here for the night?" He was surprised

"You" he said unsurely "your scared" and i nodded

"Bullshit" i was offended at his answer

"Your staying a month alone in your house with no one and you choose today to be scared?" I suddenly realized how it sounded

"Fine ill just go" i said turning around

"No im sorry of course you can stay" i felt relief flood inside of me this was a one time thing i swear i wont do it again i told myself

I then slowly climbed into his bed to find it warm he went to one side and i went to the other knowing he was there was enough.

I felt sleep engulf me and then i was dreaming.

"You bitch how could you have not have dinner ready"

"Im so sorry i got buried in stuff to do and i forgot and i tried to make it fast but i couldn't"

"You always make excuses"

And then a resounding slap was heard

Mom and dad where fighting again and i stood in the stair unable to do anything i hid in between the bars making sure no one saw me.

"I wont be coming home tonight so dont bother with dinner anymore"

And i saw dad storm out i always tried to be good in front of him or else he would hurt me

I slowly went down the stairs and saw mommy on the floor crying when she saw me her eyes widened i was suppose to be asleep but that doesn't mean i couldn't hear them screaming

"Mommy why were you guys fighting again?" She was trying to wipe away her tears

"We were just argueing honey" but i knew the diffrence and he hit her so it was fighting in a way

"Mommy im scared" i said as i saw the bruises on her arms i found it bad that there were diffrent colors

"Listen honey you always have to have courage in the world-" she didn't finish her sentence because she broke down in tears again and so did i.

I hated seeing mommy cry i hated it and i hugged her

"AMBER!!" Where was that coming from?

"AMBER wake up" but i ignored as i cried even more

I woke up with water in my eyes and a confused Hunter looking at me

"Its alright its just a dream" he said
Soothingly but it wasnt just a dream it was a memory one that was locked away in order to keep me strong.

"I dont want this life anymore i dont want it" i said shaking my head and hugging him crying onto his chest

He climbed into bed and hugged me

"Don't say that amber don't ever say that" and slowly i went back to sleep but if i dreamed i can't remember