Setting: My LA Therapy, West Brentwood, California
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Therapy wasn't something she did that often anymore. It used to be a twice a week thing, something she couldn't live without or it would throw her entire life off, but as time progressed, she had started to miss more and more sessions until she just ended up dropping in for a monthly session to update Arnold on everything that was going on in her life. It felt like more of a gossip session than anything else.
But here she was, three months after giving birth to the best thing that had ever happened to her, taking in Arnold's office that had been cleared of his apple collection and replaced with books, awards, and certificates. So much about his office had changed. So much about him had changed. The facial hair was gone, it looked like he had shed at least twenty pounds and discovered what hair dye is. All of the changes made Demi's heart ache because she had changed too. She got married, had a baby, and now she was desperately trying to bounce back but it felt impossible.
"Long time no see, Demi," Arnold greeted as Demi just nodded and continued to look around his office. "And Cristo, it's nice to see you as well."
Cristo had decided to stick around because he didn't want Demi to have to go through this alone and feel like this was something she had to figure out by herself.
"What brings you in today?"
It was Cristo's idea for her to go back to therapy, so she looked at him when Arnold asked that question.
"I think Demi has just been having a hard time since having Muse and we want to do everything possible to get her to feeling better again...to feeling like herself again," Cristo explained as Demi pursed her lips but didn't say anything.
Yes, she was having a hard time after having Muse. It was still kind of difficult to breastfeed, this was her first time having a child, and she worked in an industry that expected you to look perfect after having a baby and bounce back as if nothing had happened. Yes, she was sad, and upset, and she felt like she was having a hard time bonding with Muse, but she didn't regret having her. She didn't regret being pregnant. She didn't regret anything. She loved her daughter with all of her heart, but she felt guilty about the way that she was feeling and the way she was handling all of this, and that guilt made it even harder for her to take care of Muse. It was hard to explain, and Demi just hadn't said anything because she didn't know how to explain it.
"Demi, is that how you feel? Like you haven't been yourself?" Arnold asked as Demi shrugged a little bit. It wasn't that she didn't feel like herself, she just felt a little off. Not off enough to be on medication again or to think that she was experiencing something as serious as postpartum depression, but she had definitely changed. But who wouldn't change after having a baby for the first time?
"She doesn't leave the house that often, she's sad all of the time...I know it's been an adjustment with Muse, but I've just never seen her like this before," Cristo continued but Demi still didn't say anything.
