☻ smile | arreaga

three

A few days have passed since Ryan and I arrived in California. The boys decided they had to take us to some tourist spots around the city, which was nice, but it's too unbearably hot down here to stay outside for too long.

The fact that I live in oversized hoodies and bulky pants may play a role in that as well, but that's all Edwin's been wearing and he seems just fine.

Mine and Edwin's styles are actually really similar. I like his and Brandon's the most, but I'm not sure if I actually like Brandon's style or if it's the way he wears the clothes- if that even makes sense.

I've noticed he wears black jeans, all white air forces and shoelaces as belts a lot and that's just from being here four days.

Of course you noticed.

You know you can notice things about people without being obsessed with them, right?

But, is that the case here?

I shake the conversation of thoughts out of my head as Edwin appears in the doorway to my room.

"The guys said to tell you we're having a house meeting in ten. Just meet in the kitchen", he deadpans while focussing on his phone.

"Aight..", I hop up from the bed and start toward the door. "Tiffany still not talking to you?"

Apparently Edwin wasn't joking when he said the whole text dare from the game we played a few days ago could jeopardise his relationship. His girlfriend certainly wasn't amused and he's been a stressed out mess trying to solve things with her.

"Nope", he sighs, running a worried hand through his hair as we walk lazily down the hall together.

"She seems dramatic dude.. Not a good sign in a partner", I point out.

"I don't know", he shrugs. "I know I fucked up, but I apologized so many times already and she's still ghosting me."

We both take a seat at the kitchen table, Ed sinking down in his.

"You told her it was a prank, so you technically didn't fuck up. She's just petty", I shrug.

"I don't know Raven.." he says lowly and finally slips his phone into his pocket.

There's silence between us for a moment until I think of something.

"How would it be if the roles were switched?"

"What?", he tilts his head.

"Like if she pulled that prank and you got mad, how would that go down?"

He pauses for a second to think. "I don't think I'd be mad in the first place, but if I was and she apologized? I'd accept it, I always do the second "sorry" comes out of her mouth", he shakes his head. "But on some real shit, I don't even think she'd apologize. She'd just wait for me to get over it or pretend it never happened."

He sounds like he's just realizing how much bullshit he's put up with, which is honestly what he needs.

"You shouldn't be the only one putting in effort to make the relationship work, bro. If she really gave a shit, she'd be open to fixing things", I tell him and I'm actually impressed by the words of wisdom I'm spilling.

"You're right. Man, where have you been all this time I needed relationship advice?", he sounds like he's lightening up- what a relief.

"Dealing with my own back home", I chuckle.

Heartbreaks teach you quite a bit about relationships. And I've been through a lot.

Some of the others turn up to the kitchen, leisurely making breakfast or sitting around the table. I even notice Brandon stroll in wearing yet another shoelace belt, but Ed and I continue our conversation.

"You with anyone right now?", he asks.

"Nah", I shake my head slightly. "My girlfriend and I broke up about... two months ago", I swallow.

"Oh you're..-"

"Bi", I finish his sentence.

"Right", he nods. "That's cool! I mean, not the part about y'all breaking up, but uh.. you know, being bi.." he scratches the back of his neck (a.k.a that thing guys do when they're uncomfortable.)

"I got you", I chuckle.

People always get so awkward and dumbfounded when I mention this kind of stuff, but like- it's 2018. Shouldn't queerness be normalized by now? I guess it's not Edwin's fault though, I can tell his intentions are good and I'm relieved by that.

I wish I could say the same for my hometown, but North Carolina is conveniently one of the most homophobic states in the country. Being gay is an abomination to people up there and they swear our asses are headed straight for hell.

It's great. Not being able to kiss or even hold your girlfriend's hand in public without getting dirty looks and whispers. Deciding against posting certain photos online in fear of the homophobes at school making a big deal out of it. Taking a "break" because her parents are getting suspicious- like it would be the end of the world if they found out their daughter was dating a girl.

I'm over it though.

"Aight!", Zion walks in, leans against the island and everyone stops to listen to him

I didn't even notice that the other boys had settled around the table.

"So, y'all know I only call meetings when it's important...", Z continues.

"Yeah right", Austin says sarcastically, earning a few giggles from the guys.

"ANYWAY", he interrupts the laughter. "We throwing a party tonight boys.. and Raven."

The room fills with cheers, banging on the table and of course Edwin's signature, "Aye aye."

I'm sorta pumped too, I mean I definitely never minded a good ol' house party. I actually used to go to a lot, especially last year, but I've slowed down on them for personal reasons.

"Invite whoever y'all want, make sure they lit tho", the dread head orders. "And we gotta prepare or whatever so Austin, my favorite legal man, pick up some liqs later."

"Sir, yes sir", Austin jokingly salutes as if Zion's some sort of chief.

Oh yeah, I forgot Austin was twenty- one for a second.

"I'll go with you bud", Brandon says.

"Same", Nick points at no one in particular.

"Oh, and y'all should stop by Walmart or sum for snacks and shit. We got nothing here", Zion adds and the three of them nod.

"This place for real a mess though too..." Nick points out. "Someone gonna clean.."

The boy's heads all turn to Edwin in unison- I find that pretty funny, but also kind of stereotypical seeing he's the Spanish one. But I mean, whatever works. 

"Oh c'mon", he groans.

"Perfect, so Ed's on cleaning, you three are running errands, Raven and Ryan can chill and I'll be in my room", Zion smiles. "Great meeting", he points both of his fingers out before doing some sort of skip away.

"He's really lazy, isn't he?" I ask, chuckling.

"Yup."

"Mhm."

"You couldn't tell already?"