Um about that....

P E R FE C TION

Through out my whole life.i always searched or was interested in the beauty in other people. What they found beautiful and what they found perfect.
If you you know me, yo know I'm a perfectionist.
Everything I mean everything needs to be perfect
From my writing, Instagram feed, clothes, home decor, what I eat, what I say, how i Sound, how I look.
All I strive for is perfection.
I always say " _____ is perfect" haha "
They respond with im not perfect. I have issues I have flaws. My life isn't the best.
But I find them perfect? Which always confuses me. I always believe all tthese humans, as I extenuate human! Are perfect that's how I see it from my eyes. I try to be perfect to act perfect and beautiful. And i feel weird when I try. Is it because im changing?, is it because im pushing my real feeling back? Is it because im too focused on what they think? Is it because im being fake? I don't think I know because I felt/ feel lost.

"Beauty is everywhere" something I always contemplated through my mind. Always. Im always focused on others and are paying attention to there lives and what they wear, say and do. I was never able to understand why I always was so obsessed with others beauty and perfection. But I realize now. I contemplated that statement because Im not fully sure what beauty is, why is that? That is because im not able to find beauty in my self. And I might not ever but I will try. Not to become of what others think is "perfect" but to my best, my perfect.
My healthy and happy self.