Um about that....

T O HI M

You are a person.  a different one. I am in love with that one.

It's hard to believe that we are opposite we have so much in common, it's hard to believe we are aren't best friend. Because i know so much about you. 

You were young. You had a dream. You had a bright white smile. Big hazel eyes. With long lashes. You had smooth fair skin. With some acne as normal humans do. You had curly dark brown hair in a quiff most of the time. You looked cute. You had this sharp jawline with some stubble here and there. You had this wise older mind. Yet you never changed through everything you just became, I guess you can say a you, but 2.0.

I care too much. About you. When I think of my wedding, having kids, graduating, etc. i picture you with me. I don't know why. maybe its because your always on my mind. When ever my friends say "have you ever just seen that perfect boy/girl, and instantly fell in love and once you start talking you feel an instant connection and feels like you new them for ever." who comes to mind, you.

But for some reason you pop into my mind. you seems like your are perfect for me yet you are not. We have so much in common and some differences. And we could be the best couple, but there's some stuff. your is amazing, good looking, talented, Kind, outgoing, passionate. I'm just not good enough. I'm useless in fact. It feels terrible. Im crumbling, and alone, that is fine, I just want you happy. That is why we cant be together. If you knew my mind, you would have never even bothered, or wasted your time. You new my story and my name, but not my mind, and that is what would throw you off. Its like a battle field in there. I don't want to share my thoughts with you because once I do they will come for you. who? you may ask, me, my voice. i am the enemy. im in control yet at the time being held hostage inside. I know you are that guy who is open for any girl, but i'm gross. I'm not average, or okay.

Im broken and afraid, of my self and your love. your love that wont be there.