Scorpio #ToAllTheBoysContest

Dear Scorpio,

"You didn't cheat on your boyfriend because you're a Gemini, Sarah."

To some extent, I agree.

Then of course, to some extent I agree with almost everything. Almost, because some things are blatantly wrong. Some people mix mayo with ketchup and dip their fries in it. That's blatantly wrong.

I agree that Sarah didn't cheat on her boyfriend because she's a Gemini; Sarah cheated on her boyfriend because Sarah was completely bored with Tom's routine of ignoring her, sleeping, waking up, eating, ignoring her, sleeping, waking up-

Anyone could, understandably be, discontented with such behavior but Sarah did not confront Tom , which is what she should have done, from a mature perspective, Sarah cheated. She was joking with some of Tom's friends at a small get together and that's all it was at first--joking--until Sarah had a drink too many and Tom's best friend, John, suddenly got really cute and she thought: why shouldn't I?

That precocious little thought was the Gemini.

Just like Sarah is a Gemini, you are a Scorpio.

Scorpios are funny to me, because you all are so serious. You aren't statues, of course, you're human and you make jokes and the jokes aren't always dark and actually, lots of times, you're pretty goofy, but generally? You guys are ridiculously serious.

You guys are so serious that it gives me chills. Your default expression is sobering, pure and potent earnest.

Remember the time, Scorpio boy? When I made some dumb quip about being pregnant when I had a food baby? Do you remember what you said?

"There are thousands of young girls forced to have babies their bodies are too underdeveloped to carry by husbands they never wanted to marry; pregnancy is not a joke."

That's what you said, you Romeo you. Way to smooth talk a lady. I was trying to flirt, you Scorpio dork. Serious like a calloused war vet and a little bit mean, but that didn't stop you from making my hands from getting sticky with nervous sweat--something that had never happened because there had never been anyone for me to get nervous over.

It didn't mean anything to you, while it meant everything for me. You don't fall over lines like that. Lines like that grab you by your ankles and yank you like a wet sock so that you're laying face first on the ground feeling like a skittish fool.

The crushes I had in kindergarten and middle school weren't shy hand holding and hair tugging, no. If I liked someone I marched right up to them and announced it. What reason would I have to be hiding behind my hair, or covering the way my nose spread across my face when I smiled too hard? Why would I be worried about if I was wearing a flattering color? Or if there was anything in my teeth? Did I sound stupid? Was the joke actually funny? Does he hate me? I should shut up!

No, no blushing crushes for me, not until you Mr. Scorpio, you serious prick.