Threats Of Romance

Chapter ELEVEN

Franks eyes widened in terror, gripping Gerard's forearm. He couldn't speak, Gerard was choking him harder than intended. His breath being cut off. All he could do was give him a confused look, before his eyes glazed over. Not dead, but if Gerard didn't let go soon, he would be.  He clawed at Gerard's arm a little bit.

Gerard reluctantly let go, a panting mess. He was losing his shit. "Do you even UNDERSTAND how important you are?! You are so SPECIAL! AND LOVED! AND VALUED, GODDAMMIT! I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO LOSE YOU, YOU UNGRATEFUL FUCK! YOU HAVE A LIFE! I don't even HAVE THAT!." He tried to catch his breath. He didn't want to have a go at Frank, he just wanted to give him a hug, but the words just spilled out." You don't even KNOW what it's been like. I HAVE BEEN STUCK IN THIS HOUSE FOR A YEAR! CONSTANTLY RELIVING EVERYTHING. WONDERING WHERE MY DAUGHTER AND MY WIFE ARE. WONDERING WHETHER MY BROTHER, MY FRIEND AND MY BEST FUCKING FRIEND ARE OKAY. I HAVE BEEN SO ALONE. SO SO SO FUCKING ALONE, AND WHEN YOU TURNED UP I FELT SAFE AND HAPPY AGAIN, ONLY FOR YOU TO THROW IT AWAY! " He was almost hyperventilating." A-And.. AND I TRIED TO TALK TO Y-You... I tried to touch you... When you were upset, all I wanted to do was comfort you... I had to see you so... Hurt and vulnerable, and I couldn't do anything.

Frank spluttered loudly when Gerard let go. He just laid there, listening to Gerard's rant. He was so dazed, so confused. He looked at Gerard carefully. "Why? I'm not fucking special. Please, highlight MORE reasons why I'm a fuck up. Why would YOU care. YOU love your wife. YOU married her even when I tried so hard to show you why. YOU lied to me. Frank and gee forever. But it wasn't, was it gee?" He said. His voice was so void of emotion that it said it all. He lay there, bleeding out, soaked.

Gerard's eyes widened and he took a step back, quite literally, into the medication cabinet. He understood that. He'd never explained, but maybe now was the time. "First of all, go clean yourself up. Second, I'll talk to you. And third, I've fucking MISSED you!" He started to cry tears of frustration, tearing at his hair, his head in his hands. When he and Frank dated they had always listened to each other when told what to do.

Frank sat up and nodded, he gently pushed Gerard out so he could get changed, dry, and clean. When he'd done so, he walked out, wearing a black shirt and black tie, his arms neatly bandaged. He walked past Gerard without saying a word, as if he couldn't see him at all. But he could. He just didn't want to have to deal with gees rejections yet again. He walked into the  bedroom, that still smelt like Gerard, and sat on the bed.

Gerard's face dropped even more. He sighed externally. It was weird, he hadn't heard himself even breathe for months. He walked across the hallway and into his old bedroom, biting his lip hard. "You are so special, Frank. You mean more to me than I could ever explain, and I never realised it this much until now." He turned to him, wiping his eyes and speaking calmly. "What we had was young love. We made mistakes and broke promises. That doesn't mean to say it didn't mean anything, I just don't think we quite understood the concept of love and quite what it meant. We definitely had something, and I am so lucky to have had that experience with you, Frank. I mean, fucking after shows? There wasn't much emotional value to it, it was purely sexual. " He took his hands in his and spoke softer. " I didn't realise what I had... And I have never regretted something more until now. Yes, I did love my wife, very much, because she was a wonderful person. But so are you... "