What happened to Chris ?

Its a Chrisis

"Welcome to tape 2. So after I arrived back at marvel something was already different. More ppl were noticing me! Everyone was looking it was great. And with my dick powers I could fly using my dick as a propeller.
As soon as I saw rob and the other guy I'd kidnapped they were talking to the police telling them something like "oh no we were kidnapped by Chris" or something lame.
I marched in and was like "swish swish boys"
They both looked up.
"How is that possible" he who's name is super long so I shortened it to rob a while back said in shock.
"See it and weep!" I yelled swishing back and forward.
"We were wrong! All hail the best chris!" Yelled the other guy. They both got on their hands and knees.
"So. You want me to arrest this man?" Asked a dumb policeman so I slapped him with my dick.
Everyone cheered.
Oh right this is 13 reasons why I need to make the tapes about ppl ooooh okay.
Sorry that's when Loki walked in.
Loki.
Welcome to your tape.
He was like
"Whaaaat ppl should kneel before me! Not this imposter! He's not even English. He's an Aussie! I'm true!"
We were all triggered by this racist so a kangaroo threw a boomerang at him. It knocked some sense into him.
"Chris. What if I help you rule? I'll b your queen !" He swished his hair. Who could say no to him.
I decided I needed a throne so I demanded one. They gave me a real cute pink one. It was adorable.
"So chris. I was thinking I cold make an army of mes then conquer more than just marvel studios?" Asked Loki. I was proper shocked.
"You mean? Marvel fox?!?!?!" I asked like wooooAh.
"No I mean like-
"D.C.?!?!"
This man was insane.
"Like a country" he said.
That's easier I imagine. I agreed because boy I'm not ambitious. I also decided to put some pants back on.
Being king of the mcu was great.
Just then Dumbledoor walked in.
"Good morrow chris. The one true chris. The best chris. I'm here to give you your crown"
This day couldn't get any better.
I popped the crown on my head and smiled st Dumbledoor.
"That's close enough" said Loki. My queen.
Dumbledoor agreed and left.
"Thor while you enjoy your dick mind if I invade Poland" Loki asked without a question mark.
"Go ahead Loki!" I said smiling bcs of how nice my dick truely was.
I decided I would go and make some friends. I then saw him. He was beautiful. His eyes were kinda lil an his face was smoosh.
"Who are you?" I asked winking.
"I'm mark ruffalo. I play Bruce banner. We're in like loads of movies together chris how do you not remember me?" He asked.
I had been a nobody for so wrong that I'd never thought to talk to people or learn their names.
But I was cool now.
It was time to show it.
I exited the situation to make a bigger and better entrance.
56 minuets and a new supreme hat and a skate board ready. I was ready.
I skatered in waving.
"Oh hi mark" I said flipping on sunglasses.
He waved back at me.
Great. I was really in there.
I jumped off the board which probably hit a tree I don't care I'm Rich now.
"Mark. I was wondering if you'd like a date with me!" I said throwing the sunglasses on the ground.
"Chris I literally just found out you don't know me! Why would I?" He yelled leaving his sitting spot.
I'd have to try something else.
I pulled my pants off.
"It's 12 inches bby!" I yelled at him.
"Chris. I don't care about that. I care about your personality. And from what I've seen it's not that good" he said trying to leave.
"Wait mark! All my life has been a series of doors in my face-" I began singing.
"Wait! You like frozen!" Mark pulled off his shirt to reveal an Elsa shirt underneath.
"I. Love. Frozen." He said.
I officially had done it. The man of my dreams.
"You must be a good person if you like frozen. Let's go out!" He told me.
Before I could tell him yes Loki returned.
"THOR! I have something bad to tell you!"
He yelled.
"Not thor but okay what?" I asked.
"So after I invaded Poland with my Loki's the brits got mad and I've basically started a war." He said.
"CHRIS! I trusted you! But it turns out you're literally hitler! Hand in your frozen membership badge right now! Unless you lied about that like the BAD PERSON YOU ARE" and he left. Even tho I loved him. :(.
I ran away to cry while Loki left to deal with the war.
:(