ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕕

C H A N G E

Why?

What's wrong with me?

Am I that ugly?

You looked at your reflection on the mirror.

No.

Don't give up, (Y/N).

Stay strong.

Stay strong.

"I CAN'T!" You yelled with tears falling down "I can't..."

Your mind began to flash all the times that Jungkook had pushed you away for the past year.

He was annoyed.

Frustrated.

Embarassed.

Disgusted.

He doesn't like you!

He never did!

He always complained about you.

We don't like you!

"They don't like me." You stared at your horrible face.

"They don't like me." You pulled your fake lashes.

"They don't like me." You grabbed your makeup remover and rubbed your whole face with it.

"They don't like me." You took off your fake extra hair.

"They. Don't. Like. Me!!" You pulled all your jewellery and threw it at the wall, making some of them crack and shatter.

"They hate me... He hates me... Jungkook hates me." You slide down against the wall, sobbing. You kept repeating "Jungkook hates me..." until you fell asleep there.

***

You walked down the stairs for school. You mom was in the kitchen washing dishes. She probably had a day off.

"(Y/N)? Is that you, honey?" Her eyes were still on the plate she was holding in her hand. "Oh. Yeri took your car. I asked her and she said she told you that she was borrowing it but-... Oh?" She finally set her attention on you. "Trying a new style today?" She asked with a worried smile.

You were wearing a maroon sweater with black tight jeans. You got on some black sneakers and tied your hair up in a bun. No makeup or jewellery whatsoever. A blue supreme backpack hanging on your right shoulder.

The one you got as a gift from your late father.

"Yeah." It was a quiet reply. Your mom barely heard it. You opened the fridge and grabbed an apple. "I'm not hungry. Love you." You gave your mom a quick side hug and left the house before she could say anything.

***

You walked to school while biting into your apple. You finished it the moment you reached the school gate. You threw it into a bin and pulled your hoodie onto your head. You kept your head low.

For the first time in forever, no one said anything to you. Maybe because no one recognised you.

You finally reached your locker.

Some whispers could be heard.

"Is that (Y/N)?"

"No way."

"She looks... different."

"What happened to her?"

You just ignored them and grabbed your books. You walked to your class, Chemistry. Eyes fixed on the ground.

***

You went to class early and sat at the very back which was very unusual for you. You plugged your ears with your earphone and got lost in your world.

Finally, you focused and caught on what the teacher said rather than daydreaming about that... human being.

Fortunately, no one made a big fuss about you. The teacher didn't even mentioned you in class so it was going great.

Until lunch.

You didn't eat. You headed to the field and sat on a bench, reading a random book you borrowed from the library. It was an old hobby. Feels good to be back. You were so into the book when you realised someone was standing in front of you.

"Hello there." He greeted. You heard him but acted like you didn't. "Is this seat empty?" No reply. "Uhh. I'll just sit here, okay? If you don't mind." He continued and hesitantly sat down next to you.

He was writing something in a book. Probably homework.

After awhile, he set down the pen and faced you. You saw it in the corner of your eye.

Don't talk to me.

Don't talk-

"Are you a new student?"

Ugh.

"A quiet one?"

Don't say anything.

"Hey. It's kind of rude to ignore people talking to you."

Well then, bye bye.

You quickly stood up and grabbed your bag. Your action was so fast that your pencil box jumped out of your bag. You went to grab it quickly but it was too late.

Jimin saw the familiar glitter pencil case.

"(Y/N)?" He was SHOOK. You started speed walking but he followed your steps. "Wait. (Y/N)-"

"Fuck off, Jimin." SHOOK again. No one had heard you cuss but you were too frustrated.

"No." He firmly said and ran in front of you. You tried to walk pass him but he grabbed your shoulders in a tight grip. You gave up. Sighing, you set your head downcast. "(Y/N)... What happened?"

Why is he acting like this?

"Please... tell me what's wrong. This isn't normal. Tell me what happened. It's okay. I'll try to understand but just tell me-"

"Don't you hate me?"

Silence overcame both of you.

Your voice. It was so quiet that it was barely above a whisper. Eventhough it was quiet, the crack and pain was clear as a day. It was the most painful thing Jimin had heard in his entire existence.

"What? H-hate you?" It was his voice that was shaky now. "I don't hate you. No. I never did."

"Stop lying."

"I'm not, okay? I'm not. I'm telling the truth. I never hated you. Not once in my life. Where did you get that idea?"

"Who wouldn't think so when most of your group friends hate my guts?" You looked at him dead in the eye. To find the truth. You thought you would see some mischief in it but none were seen. All you see were sadness, confusion and sympathy. It was too much for you. He looked so caring. It was too good to be true.

There's no way that's true.

It's all fake.

Everything's fake.

Everyone's fake.

You looked down again. "Everyone hates me." You started crying.

"No. No. No. That's not true. A lot of people like you. They adore you. The mood lifter of our school." He tried to light up the atmosphere.

"Then why don't I have friends?" Jimin wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into a hug, feeling you trembling in his arms. "People just leave me in the end. What's wrong with me? I want to fix myself but I don't know h-how." Your breathing became uneven. "I'm so alone. My cousin was my best friend. And n-now... she's gone too."

"Shh. Calm down. It's okay. Listen." He pulled away and held your face with his two smol hands. He wiped a tear and gave you a gentle smile.

"I'll be your friend."