Anticipated Life

Chapter Two: Kendly

Once again I found myself awake at 3:24 in the morning thinking about Caroline. I just keep thinking about my life and how she is the only woman I would ever even consider fitting into it. What does this mean for me? What is the next step? I keep asking myself these things so often that I barely think about anything else. I'm never going to get any sleep until I do something about this and figure it out. I got out of bed and slipped on some boxers. I made my way over to my dresser being careful not to wake Chester, my roommate. I slipped on my old Levi's and a red flannel shirt. I went into the bathroom and ruffled my hair a little bit with my fingers. I found my swede boots and laced them up. I stood by the door while I slowly twisted the knob, being extra careful not to make any noise.I followed the stairs from the hall down to the front of the building and slipped into my car.

At first I was just driving. I drove around the building a time or two and circled the block. I found myself on a street in the middle of a closed strip mall. I glanced at the stores as I drove. A candy shop, a family owned hard ware store, a container store, an Italian restaurant, a ceramic treasures store, a sandwich shop, a gym, a clothing boutique, and a jewelry store. I parked the car in between the last two shops and looked into the windows. I got out and lit a cigarette with my flip flop lighter from the summer vacation. All of a sudden I had a massive migraine and felt the sudden need to clear my head. It happens a lot with my disorder. I started walking down the sidewalk just looking at the blank pavements, the empty pieces of the once renowned city. The sleeping sin.

I tossed the bud and looked up to find a skinny young woman. She was very attractive with her long, blonde, curly hair and dark, lengthy legs. At first I just wrapped myself in the sight of her and soaked up her beauty. The thick charm bracelet jingled as she walked drawing attention to the matching heels clanking down the town. My eyes were drawn back to her face, her plump cheeks, and ripe lips. Wait a second, I know that face, those intriguing eyes. It was ivy.

"OH. MY. GOD." She said as her hand drew closer to her lips.

I smiled. "Ivy"

"Kendly!" She exclaimed.

"How long has it been?"

"Forever! Must be at least three years."

"Has it really been that long?"

"Do you really think I could forget a handsome devil like you?"

"Oh bull shit." I could see right through it but I remained friendly for her sake.

"You really have become quite the model haven't you?"

"Oh shut up! I'm a pile of shit ivy."

She laughed. "You wouldn't want to maybe of get a drink would you?"

"I guess I really shouldn't."

"Oh come on. One drink. I know a place right around the corner."

"You know what. Ok. But just one." I smiled.

Ivy was a friend of my sisters. She had spent one summer at our villa in Italy. I was so hung up on her. I asked her out on the final day of her stay and she turned me down. She was the first woman I had ever loved until Caroline came along.

When we arrived at the bar she ordered two moon shines. She said it had a little bit more of the pain aspect to it than other beers and that I had to try it. She finished hers and I had a sip or two.

"So what'd you think?"

"Delectable." I smiled. "What are you doing out this time of night anyway?" I asked.

"Mystery is sexy."

I laughed. "Alright".

"You wouldn't mind walking me home would you? Things can get dangerous this time of night."

"Sure. I guess I could do that."

We walked a few blocks until we finally reached her uptown loft.

"So I guess this is it." I said.

"It doesn't have to be." She smiled. "Would you like to come in?"

I looked at her. "You know what, I'm good." I said slowly but certainly.

She looked at me with a surprised look. I turned and ran to the elevator. Upon arrival to street level, I raced back to where my car was parked a few blocks away, scrambling to find my keys. Suddenly everything felt so clear. I drove, passing the limit by at least double until I reached the dorms. I ran up to the fourth floor of the second building, pausing at the top to gather myself. I stood in front of the door and took enough breaths to regulate myself. I knocked on the door twice, trying not to wake anybody that I didn't have to. After a few seconds Caroline came to the door, groggy, and unappealed.

"What are you doing here this late Kendly?" She asked.

" I have something important to discuss with you. Could I come in?"

She opened the door for me and stepped back.

"What is it? We couldn't have spoken in the morning?"

"Caroline," I kneeled down to the old, shaggy carpet. Her eyes widened. "Caroline Kristen Cassedy," I paused, letting the air calmly flow out of my lungs. "I love you."

"I love you too baby"

"Will you marry me?"

She stopped and her eyes got big. I could tell she knew it was coming, hence my kneeling, but she seemed so surprised. I couldn't tell if she was happy or sad, disappointed or pleased. All I could do was hope and dwell in her silence that I could be lucky enough to love her forever.