Series of Untold Truths

Constellations [Part 1]

There are some things in the world that we seem to know how it is done, like breathing, it's basically second-nature to us. Breathing has been a part of us ever since we were born, we are not taught to do it, yet we know how it works. An old saying was passed from generations to generations, it became well-known, that the people who heard about it sees it as a charm of some sort. Children usually hears about it through their parents that tells them the passage as if it's a written prophecy, "Talent is not something to be wasted and casted away, it is for you to show the world, and the people that look down upon you."

In the busy streets of Manila, Philippines, there's a girl who dreamt of starry nights and endless skies. How she dreamt of the constellations that are hidden against the lights that comes from the tall skyscraper, that looms over the people. She loves the way the movies and novels describe the undying purpose of the stars, how they are different kinds of them, yet they all have one purpose—to shine and tell stories of the past.

People are like stars, they shine differently but strives for the same reason. To be able to be successful in what they love to do. Although, like stars, their motivation will soon dim and die. There are a few who are favored, they are what people call, "the lucky ones." They are the ones who are able to evolved their dream into reality, the ones who are blessed to dream bigger. Those lucky ones are the one that traveled through the empty void of the sky, facing the darkness that the night presents, in order to find their own constellation.

Nemi Sekia has always dreamed about the night sky, and how it shined brightly, contrasting against the dark shadows that looms around them. She dreamed of words that flows like a stream of water, floating easily within the pale, white paper. The way one object can be defined by series of words, that instead of describing, tells a story that reminds you of one silent moment of your life.

Even though she  grew up with a broken family at a young age, leaving her with only her mom to strive for them, it didn't bother her, and has quickly accepted that there are things that a person cannot control. She does not see this as something to dwell on for a long time, and accepted her what was given to her. With the absence of her father, Nemi's mother is left to carry the burden that is supposed to be worked out by two parents.

As a kid, with no one to talk to, she remained quiet, and empathetic towards the world, which caused her to have a trouble speaking her mind. Leading for her thoughts to jumble inside her head, forcing her to stumble and choke on her words. She struggled with connecting with others emotionally, and would sometimes ask herself why she cannot be like the people that surrounds her. Like her cousins that are not afraid to say what's on their minds, and how their confidence seemed to radiate inside of them. She tried to grasp the knowledge and lessons that her mom and family always reminds her; talk clearly and loudly, don't be afraid to speak your mind, learn to stand on your own feet. She tried hard to apply those lessons on her life, tried to get out of the comfort-zone, just to be able to connect with those around her, to be what others like to call "normal."

Growing up, her older cousin, Xhaileen,  became her role-model throughout her childhood years. She learned to be replica of what her cousin portrays, from learning to play an instrument, to learning to sing as gracefully like her. As she grows old, she started loosing her constellations. One by one, the stars that used to shine brightly, soon became a lifeless object in the sky, loosing its worth and existence. Nemi started to dislike the way the keys on the piano played beneath her fingers, with each chords played, another star loses its light. She dislikes the way her voice runs with the melody of the current song that she's learning, dislikes the way she cannot reach the star that holds her dreams.

At 11 years old, Nemi gave up her singing, and settled for less. She accepted that being a singer may not be for her, that faith has more plans for her. At least that's what she hopes for. Instead, she turned to movies and tv series to find contentment, away from the hole that is growing inside of her. She loves the way the actors portrays a character realistically, and the hidden messages and lessons that you can discover once you dig deeper. Each dialogue must be acted in a certain emotion, each words that the actors utters were either dropped heavily, or fondly. Nemi was amused on how much impact a scene can make, it gives you a sensation of feeling alive. Her family always asked her why she likes watching scenes that were not supposed to be seen by a kid, her response is simple, "I like that it gives me a glimpse of the world that we live in."

                            —————

One afternoon, as Nemi was watching her afternoon shows, her step-sister comes to their shared room, plopping on the cold tiles, next to Nemi's bed. She's holding a box that contains 5 books, Nemi recognizes them as one of those greek mythology based books. She always wonders why her step-sister loves reading, when it seems like the vocabulary that is used were too hard to understand.

She looks away from the television, and turned towards her step-sister, "Rene, why do you like those kinds of book?" She glances once again at the books that are still covered in plastic, "I mean, why do you still read them, when you can just watch it since they made it into a movie?"

Rene places the box of books gently on the floor, she looks at Nemi and explains, "Movies and books are not exactly the same. You see, movies only shows half of the details, while reading brings you into a different world. Like traveling into another dimension, an escape away from reality. Movies shows you what should be seen, books gives you the opportunity to be imaginative," she smiles softly.

Nemi thinks about what Rene said, trying to understand what her step-sister meant about how books can become an escape. Was it like the movies she watches? Do they give the same sense of familiarity and calmness?

She looks at Rene one last time, and went back to watching, questions still swirling inside of Nemi's head, remaining unanswered. Although she does not have to wait any longer, for she will soon find out what her step-sister was trying to describe.

The first fiction book she held was the book that Rene lend her. It was about a half-blood boy, he's born as one of Poseidon's children. The boy was set out on a quest to find and retrieve Zeus's missing lightning bolt. With the help of his friends, they went to adventures to look for the stolen lightning bolt. They were faced with monsters and different kinds of creatures that made their path difficult. Nemi found it intriguing, yet it did not peaked her interest as she was used to reading short stories that only involves romance and drama.

The next day, she asked her mom if they could go to the nearest bookstore to look for books to read. Her mom's surprised face is understandable because Nemi hasn't shown any interest in reading books once in her life.

She feels a familiarity once she sets foot on the bookstore, a wave of nostalgia crept inside of her making her smile softly. Strolling in the bookstore with Rene to look for a book to buy, letting her fingers run against the body of the books, reading the titles in every each one of them. Nemi looks at Rene and sees her opening a book to the first page, she then decided to let Rene do her thing and walk around.

"Rene, I'll just go to the fiction section," Nemi says as she points at the back of the store. Rene nods her head, not bothering to look up from the book she was reading, which makes Nemi chuckle.

Reading became Nemi's way to escape the real world, she finally understood what Rene meant when she told her about the difference between movies and books. The characters in the books she reads became her friends, teaching her lessons about life that she does not learn from the people around her. It made her world broader, applying the texts she reads into how she deals with certain situations. She found her own constellations in books, it became a way for her to connect with others emotionally.

The world around her may change, but one thing is for sure, books became her way to express herself.