Caught In A Storm

Chapter IXX

My dear Marinette,

Marinette. I never thought about how much power and grace a name could show. I never thought I would have a favourite name in my entire boring life. It always seemed to be a girly thing to have a favourite name. But now I have one, one I could say on and on and never get tired of: Marinette.

As a kid, I always looked up to my mother. I always thought she was the strongest, most determined person I would ever get to know. She would do anything for those she loved. And when she loved, it was with all her heart. But then I met you. And you Marinette, you love with all your heart and soul and so much more. I always looked up to my mother, but now I have someone else to look up too: you. Each day I wanted to be like my mother, love with as much passion as she did, but now when I look back I realize how much I did not attain my goal. Now I see that it's not some goal you can reach, but something you have to live and fight for. It's not like a simple quest, where you fight one bad guy and then you achieve it. I realized this, when I was next to you. You don't even think about your love for others, it's already an instinct for you to protect them from harms' ways.

When I first laid my eyes on you, I was already respecting you for your courage and your bravery. You were standing there, ready to defend yourself, not needing a horde of guards to do so. But what most impressed me then, was your kindness and understanding. You had the heart to welcome two strangers inside your home. Something most people wouldn't do. But you had faith: faith in us or whomever, I wouldn't know, but you had faith that we were good people. How many people would do that? Maybe you didn't realize what you did on the moment, you realized only afterwards what you just did as you welcomed us into your house. But you gave us a chance to prove you, that we meant you no harm and still didn't kick us out of your home, your safe-heaven. You gave us food, water, a warm place to sleep and didn't expect anything in return.

Although in return I broke your heart. And there is no one I blame more than myself. What I did Marinette... it's unforgivable. I won't ask for your forgiveness, I never will ask you to forgive me, because I simply don't deserved to be forgiven. I know I shouldn't be saying this anymore, but the truth is I can't:

I love you, Marinette.

With all my heart and all my soul, I love and will love you forever and ever.

When I was younger than now, I always thought the only person I will ever love will be my mother. You proved me wrong.

You never asked me any questions about my past or my family, since the first times you asked, you saw that I didn't want to talk about it. You respected my privacy and now I wish you had pushed harder and that I would have told you everything sooner. Maybe we would have ended up like right now, maybe not. Maybe my heart wouldn't be as broken as it is now. Nobody knows how it would have ended up.

I don't know how much you remembered from our conversation, before I left your side, so I decided to explain everything to you once again:

My name is Adrien Agreste of House Miraculous. I'm going to turn 21 in a few weeks. My father (King Gabriel Agreste) has decided to combine my birthday with my marriage.

I need you to know and implore you to remember: the marriage was not my idea.

When my father told me about it less year ago, I was furious. And you know what the worse was? I couldn't show any of it. I couldn't tell him how terrible I found his idea and mostly I couldn't say no. My father may try to show that we have a good relationship, but everyone in the castle and I know better. You know how much of a tyrant he is, always treating the kingdoms' citizen like his slaves and inferior. He treats me like that as well. I have no word in what so ever. My life is entirely controlled by him. My steps are always followed. He didn't even ask for my opinion on the bride he chose or anything in the matter. Something inside of me snapped. I still don't know how I managed to convince, something along "getting to know the land I would be reigning on", but I managed to convince him to let me make a one-year trip before my birthday/wedding. Accompanied by Nino, who had become more a friend than a valet, we made our way across the Miraculous land, I wanted to visit small villages, more than the large towns.

Nino almost convinced me not to go to the furthest place away from the capitol. I nearly wouldn't have gone to your village. I persisted; I wanted to see how the people were living near the border.

Then the snow storm hit. And I never in my entire life would have thought that a snow storm would be the best thing that could have happened in my entire life.

I got to meet you:

Marinette Dupain-Cheng

Owner of My Heart

My father always refused for me to have some interactions with people of my age, much less girls. Being next to you, with you, was a totally new experience to me. I want to excuse myself if I stepped out of line or seemed quite stuck up next to you. I didn't and still don't know how to act around you. You make me speechless. Everything you do, you do it with your heart and soul and with that smile ... thinking about it makes me always swoon.

Your heart and soul are so pure, Marinette. You will have to take my word for it. I have seen some pretty tainted souls and heart where I come from. The capital is filled with empty, vice souls and hearts. Being next to you was... freeing! I am now addicted to this feeling. Knowing what is about to come, saddens me deeply, but the worst is going to be living with knowing I hurt you, and broke the permanent smile on your face and your trust and faith in other human beings.

I've never felt better than here, right by your side. You opened my heart and mind to so many wonderful possibilities that I thought I wouldn't get in all my life. Even if the stars pulled us apart, I still want to thank them that I crossed your path and I want to you to know that you only will hold my heart forever. And I wouldn't it to be anyone else. It was a blessing to get to meet you.

I didn't realize the profoundness of my feelings right on, but after we shared our first kissed, I realized that you were the only thing that I needed in my life. You are the only thing I wanted, want and will always want. But I am a coward, My Lady. A coward, who isn't able to step up against his father, so he can live his dreams. You know what I told myself our first kiss? I was panicking, because I didn't know how you truly felt. I told myself to let fate decide what would happen to us. This shows perfectly how much of a coward I truly am. I claim I want to fight for those I love, but I let fate decide what is going to happen between the love of my life and myself. To say that I'm disappointed in myself is an understatement. Now I have to shoulder the guilt I will have to live with for the rest of my life. I deserve the guilt. I deserve your anger, fury, disappointment. I don't deserve your forgiveness.

Marinette, I bid you goodbye and wish you will be able to forget me and find peace in your heart. Time heals you slowly, I know it myself. Though now I won't let time heal me, it was starting to heal the wound my mother's death left behind, but now my heart is shattered in billions of pieces and I frankly don't want it to be healed. I don't deserve to be healed after what I did to you, it was heartless, so should I be.

Yours forever,

Adrien

Marinette didn't how she managed to read the whole letter in one go without stopping to cry her heart out. Tears were streaming down her round cheeks, but she kept reading until the end. Alya hastily took the papers so she wouldn't stain them. She probably wanted to read them later, but for now she was trying to console her friend. Marinette quietly cried inot her friend's shoulder. She felt awfully cold inside. like something within her had died and was leaching at her warmth. Ashiver ran though her, mkaing Alya hug her tighter, before covering her friend's shoulders with a small blanket that was nearby.

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