Langst/Klangst one shots

What am I to you? -Langst

A/N as you could already guess this is my first time writing with this app and it's raining here so I just came up with an idea. Enjoy! ⚠️this chapter contains suicidal thoughts, self hate, mean comments, swearing ect. Please if you are sensitive and/or triggered by any/all topics I beg you to not read⚠️

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Lances POV:
What would it be like if I just...jumped off a cliff. Would they even care enough to go looking for my body? Or would they...no. Of course they would go looking! They are my friends and that's final!! Do I even call them my friends... As I shake off that mean voice I get pulled into reality.
"Lance! Pay attention! This is important! I don't need you to become more aimless as it already is!" Shiro yells at me. My stomach drops at the thought of the last sentence. The voice comes creeping back.
You know it's true, Lance, don't be stupid.
I ignore the voice and pay attention silently. When I looked up at the altean clock I could just read that the meeting was at its end before I knew it.
"-alright paladins thank you for coming to this meeting...and Lance, Shiro and I would like to talk to you about something." Allura said as she signalled the rest of the paladins to leave.
"Yes princess?"
I could feel the angry and furious aura coming from both her and Shiro.
"What the heck Lance!" Allura yelled.
What the hell did you do Lance? You're so stupid, if you paid attention this wouldn't have happened.
Shiro looked at me with disappointment as he started to speak. "If I didn't snap you out of your thoughts or what ever you were day-dreaming about and we went on the mission you, or even worse, one of us could get hurt or could even die. All because you didn't pay attention!" By now Shiro was yelling at me.
I could suddenly feel tears start to form in my eyes and a sob scratching at my throat. But I swallowed it back down and blinked the tears away, hopeful that they don't notice.
"I'm sorry, Shiro... Allura..." My voice was on the verge of cracking. They nodded and let me leave.

When I was walking back to my room I ran into Hunk. I think he tried to ask me a question but I ignored him and kept walking.
Stupid
Useless
SHUT UP LANCE
Pay attention!
Idiotic,
A flirt,
A joke,
Everyone hates you Lance, they could easily replace you. But they would replace you with a better paladin. They would like him more than you, you worthless piece of shit!
"I know."
When I got to my room I closed the door and slowly slid down the cold, hard metal. I let a small sob escape my throat. I let the words replay in my mind... worthless, useless, stupid, pay attention, listen, shut up. I let out a bigger sob and let tears fall down my
cheek.
After 45 dobashes I started to calm down a bit, reminding myself to breathe. In... out... in... out. After 5 dobashes of breathing I got up to go to dinner. Thankfully I didn't run into anyone.

I put on a fake smile as I entered the room. Shiro was glaring at me and so was Keith and Allura. Oh, did I mention that Keith hates me? Yeah well there is nothing new about that. I kinda started this hole rivalry with him so we always fight and try to one up each other.
As I sat down next to Keith, Allura spoke. "Lance, late again...when will you ever learn that you need to be here on time?" You could hear the hate in her words. You could feel her annoyed aura. You could see the hatred in her eyes.
"I'm really sorry prin-" Shiro cut me off.
"No Lance, you need to learn to be here on time, so for now on there are going to be consequences to your actions." Shiro said coldly.
I nodded and stared at my food, unwilling to eat right now. So I just stared at my hands as they started fidgeting with each other under the table. Hunk sat next to me.
"You okay buddy?" He asked with a sad tone, digging into his food.
So I put on a fake smile. "Yeah just thinking, I'm not really hungry right now."
"Not even for my delicious food goo?" Hunk stopped for a minute to look at me for an answer.
"Sorry, Hunk, I'm just tired. But I will when I feel like it!" I said in a fake, upbeat tone. He shook it off as just tiredness and started to talk to Pidge, who was sitting across from him. I just stayed quiet and stared at my hands.

Once I heard the talking die down and foot steps leaving the cold, metal room I knew it was my que to leave. I got up and scrapped the still full bowl of food goo into the bin. When I put my bowl in the sink I started to walk to the door but I was stopped by a familiar voice. Shiro.
"Lance! You are going to be washing the dishes at this very instant."
Fine.
When Shiro left the room, I started to clean quietly. Letting my thoughts over take me.
You deserve this Lance, this is only a smidge of what you deserve. You just need to die. They wouldn't care that you die, instead they would rejoice in the wonderful silence.
I looked down to see no dishes left for me to wash, so I took this opportunity to leave and go to bed.

One...two...three...four...five. I just laid there staring at the ceiling, wanting to leave into the peaceful world of imagination, but knowing I'll enter the realm of nightmares. Next minute my eyes are feeling too heavy to carry, so I drifted off to sleep into the world of hate and disappointment.

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Hey ppl from space! Author here! (*claps slowly and yells* THANKS THEY TOTALLY DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS YOU AUTHOR!!) sorry my logical side hates me 😂 anyways, I hope you liked this one shot! (Even tho I won't get any reads) comment if u want a part two to this be

Word count: 1066