RANTING TIME

SQUISHING PEOPLE INTO CARS

There's always that one lovely time on your life where YOU GET PILED INTO THE BACKSEAT OF A FOUR SEATER WITH LIKE 7 OTHER PEOPLE.

No.

Can you not.

DON'T SIT ON MY LAP YOU PEASANT.

DON'T SCREAM AT ME TO SCOOT OVER WHEN I HAVE THE WIDEST HIPS AND I CAN'T.

Yes, I have leg space but if I move one leg over we'll get pulled over because the poe poe thinks I be prostitutin'.

And those suPERCALAFRAGILISTICEXBIALIDOCIOUS SKINNY PEOPLE THAT ARE OVER THERE PLAYING ANGRY BIRDS ON THEIR IPHONE 6 KNOCKOFF ALL HAPPY AND COMFY.

BISH. BISH THIS GUYS SHOULDER IS IN THE BOTTOM OF MY RIGHT SIDE RIBCAGE AND YOU'RE STRAIGHTENING YOUR HAIR WITH ALL THE ARM SPACE YOU CAN USE.

no.

*turns into a man of the 1940's*

Children let me tell you a story. There once was a time that my cousin drove to a buffet and to a movie. Except. THE BUFFET WAS COMPLETELY GONE BY THE TIME WE GOT THERE. It was 6-7. We got there about 6:45. BUT NOPE THAT ROOM WAS CLEAN. CLEEEEN. We're like oh maybe it's the wrong room.

Nope.

It was empty.

So. We decided to go to the movie and just eat overly priced twizzlers. WE COULDN'T EVEN GET INTO THE MOVIE. THERE WERE ALREADY FOUR PEOPLE IN THE CAR AND WE PICKED UP THREE MORE AND DIDN'T EVEN GET TO SEE THE MOVIE.

That children. Is why you should stay in school and say no to drugs.