Alicyn's Shorts

We can't do this

White, all she could notice was the color white as the snow fell around them. White and grey as she rolled the answer to his question on her tougnue wondering if it held any evil there.

Why me? It echoed in her mind as she looked down at her fingers, she could barely feel them as she flexed them.

"Why you?" She repeated the words, her native roots showing in the accent in her voice. Then finally she looked at him. His ashen skin and sliver hair almost blended into their surroundings but for the dark stone wall behind him and his eyes, like living twin flames had been ignited in his skull.

"Because you never asked me to be nothing that i wasnt." she paused, looking away from him, afriad of what she would see. "You never tried to tell me anything I wasn't. I wasn't a pureblood, i wasn't just human, I was just...I was just Nan." her fingers were alittle blue, she figured that was what frostbite was. What a new marvel it was, this new body of hers. But she knew she was stalling.

Clentching her fingers, she looked forward again.

"Everyone else always expected me to be something I wasn't. My father? He wanted me to be a proper lady who could sit still and quote poetry and smile kindly at everyone. I only mastered one of those things. My mother, well...She was mourning her lost son. She had no room in her heart for me then. Now? Phobia? Grandpere? They want me to act and be a pureblood. But there is too much human there, too much compassion for them. I am not clever enough, or I am too kind. Everyone always wants me to be something I can't be..." pausing Nan took in a breath, feeling her shoulders somehow lighten, if only alittle.

"Am I human? Am I pureblood? What can I be? I only want to be what I am, but it never seems enough...But you. You never ask me to something am not. I am just me, and...and thats enough."

Silence, she could feel it in her cracked soul, she hated the way it made her feel. Exposed, out in the open...It made her feel like prey.

"Oh Nan." his voice soft, and almost pleading.

"We can't do this. We shouldn't do this."

Empty, that is what she felt, as she slowly let the mask fall over her face. The familiar mask of indifference, feigned ignorance.

"Do what?" she rasped out, at least it felt that way.

"You know what I mean." deeper that emptiness seemed to spread, starting in her gut, the now spreading into her lungs, down her arms and into her knees.

"I don't know what you mean."

"Nan." She could hear the pity in her name, the oh why do you do this to yourself.

"its getting cold, howler, you should go inside." 

A/N//////:

This is my OTP from a table top game I play with my friends, I hope to be able to show more of them to you because the story is pretty epic! Thank you!

A.