Apartment 5C

one.

Today felt like any other day of school. Except it wasn't just any other day of school. It was the first day of school. My senior year of high school was finally here. The year that ends all years.

I expected to feel a sense of comfort mixed with excitement at the fact this would be my last year of high school. But for some reason I felt nothing but guilt. I felt like something was off—no, I know something is off. He should be here by my side. But as I look to my left to meet his comforting eyes, I'm faced with an empty space.

I imagine his hand reaching for mine and giving it a light squeeze as an affirmation. An affirmation that everything was going to okay, but today wasn't going to be okay. Not without him here anymore.

"Lana!" the sound of my best friend's voice cuts my thoughts short. "Why are you just standing here like a lost puppy?" Mikey's voice dripped with curiosity and concern.

"It's just weird." I announce, my eyes still not leaving the towering building in front of me. The large sign reading BAYSHORE HIGH in bold, red lettering.

"What's weird?" Mikey grabs my hand to encourage me to move towards the entrance steps. Very few people littered the front of the school considering the first Bell was already about to ring.

"Not having Jasper here. It just doesn't feel the same. We always talked about this day, and now that it's here... it just sucks without him." I slightly turn my head to look at the red headed girl who has been my friend since childhood.

Mikey's heeled boots echoed as we ascended the cobble steps; my black converse just made a slight clunking noise.

She didn't say anything in response to my answer, she just threw her arm around my shoulders as a reassurance as we walked through the doors.

The sounds of everyone going about their routine overwhelmed my ears as I walked down the main corridor. Lockers slamming, people shouting, girls giggling, the sound of the water fountain running.

"It's going to be okay. I'll see you at lunch, text me if you need anything." Mikey hugged me briefly before turning on her heels and making her way to the staircase for her homeroom.

I couldn't bring myself to move from my spot in the hallway. I highly contemplated just skipping my first class out of anxiety, but the thought of missing my first class of senior year stressed me out even more.

I quickly navigated my way to the third floor where my advanced literature class is held. Literature was really my only serious class this year because I took all of my required classes over the summer. It was my way of distracting myself from the incident that occurred in June.

I was thankful to learn there was no assigned seats in literature class and I had no hesitation to sitting in the far back corner. The class was fairly small with about 10 students. I guess not many seniors wanted to waste their time with the advanced courses- especially first semester.

I aimlessly traced the carvings on my wooden desk, completely tuning out the teacher as they droned on about the syllabus. It's the same thing for every class really: Follow the rules, turn assignments in on time, blah blah blah.

"You in the back corner, are you listening?" I barely register the voice addressing me until the girl next to me gives me a slight nudge.

My dull green eyes flicker up to look at the somewhat intimidating lady. She wore pointy librarian glasses, and her jaw line was so prominent that if it was any sharper it'd be considered a weapon.

"Not really." My blunt tone even caught me by surprise. I was at a point in my life where I didn't give a shit about anything. I know I have been a bitch recently, but I just couldn't bring myself to care.