Picking Up the Pieces

3. Sweetheart

I brought my backpack to earth. Shoved it full of all of the books my father brought me each year on my birthday and my un-used journal plus a pen. My mother got it for me before she died. I loved to write.  She bought it for me a couple days before my 14th birthday. Told me I had a gift. To write about anything I pleased. And now she's dead and I haven't looked at the journal since. I brought it with me, not having thought about it. I just kinda shoved it in there. But now I'm glad I did.

I'm in my tent going through everything I brought in the backpack Marcus gave me when he told me I was coming to earth in my cell.

I open the front page and see an inscription. Holy shit an inscription.

"Write about love and heartbreak, life and death, happiness and sadness.  No one can tell your story, so tell it yourself. I love you, J." -Mom

I feel tears escape my eyes as I trace the letters slightly with my fingers. I can feel the walls of my inner dam crashing, crumbling, breaking down. the tears pour out wracking my body with sobs. I breathe, in and out. In and out. Calm down Jada. Calm down. I hear the fire crackling and a girl shriek in pain. What the hell is going on? I wipe my eyes, put down the journal and exit my tent.

I approach the fire.

"What the hell is going on Bellamy?" "What does it look like sweetheart? We're rebelling. Something you know all about." He smirks. "Sweetheart, now, is it? I am so not in the mood Bellamy. Listen up! Now, why are you all taking off your wristbands? If you take them off the Ark will think you're dead and there goes our chance of salvation. If you want all of your loved ones to think you're dead, go right on ahead. And they're not just loved ones. Your precious parents, friends up there, they're the working class people. Farmers, doctors, engineers. Our people. So if you want to save humanity and get the help we so desperately need from those people up there I suggest you take it down a notch." Bellamy won't take this from me. He's too proud. I can't say I'm surprised when he retaliates.

"Our people are down here. Those people locked my people up. They have stupid rules. Those people killed my mother for the crime of having a second child." "Well we have that in common then." Bellamy looks surprised. "Then why are you fighting this? They killed your mother and locked you up. Them and their rules. Down here, there are no rules. You know why? Because whatever the hell we want!"

The crowd looks impressed by his little show and soon start chanting "whatever the hell we want". They don't get it!

"Just stop! Yes, they did those things but they did them out of a twisted, corrupted, selfish act of salvation towards our people. Don't you get it? For example, you all hate Jaha, right?" There is a murmer of agreement. "For fucks sake, get over yourselves! Do you think it would've been different with another Chancellor? Do you think they would've pardoned your crimes? Jaha doesn't make the rules, he enforces them. Ugh, you are all so hypocritical! You hate him because he locked you up and now you taking off those wristbands is locking them up there because they don't hink it's safe to come down!" The crowd looks torn until one of Bellamy's goons decides to take a crack at attacking me.

"We all know who you are Jada. Why are you trying to fight this? It's not like you have anyone up there." "Big words for someone who knows I can rip you to shreds." "But you won't. Because you're a good girl now, right? You're trying to re-invent yourself last I heard." I feel myself getting flushed.

"You're trying to become daddy's little girl even though he hates you because you acted out and got yourself arrested." Calm down J, he's trying to push your buttons.

 "That's why he turned you in, because he resents you." Breathe Jada, contain yourself. "

You wanna know why? Because you look exactly. Like. Mommy-" "I'm going to fucking kill you!"

I launch at him and tackle the son-of-a-bitch to the ground and everybody screams. I'm straddling his stomach and punching him in the face while people panic.

"You're going to fucking pay for that, dick!" I punch him in the eye, the jaw and the nose repeatedly. Everyone crowds me as I get up and kick him in the stomach over and over until somebody grabs me and pulls me off of the sorry fucker. I struggle against the toned arms holding me by my stomach.

"Let me at him! Let go of me, I need to kick his sorry ass!" "You've done quite enough sweetheart." "I'm going to kill him! I'm going to... kill him." I break down in a mess of tears. I'm sobbing the hardest I've ever cried since my mother was floated.

 Bellamy picks me up bridal style and carries me to my tent as I cry seemingly endless tears. It starts to rain and I can barely feel the difference between my tears and the rain anymore but I can still feel them when I blink and I am still gasping for air only to quickly exhale it out. The salty taste is evident when the tears roll down my cheeks and sometimes into my mouth.

We enter my tent and he lays me down on my make-shift bed. I lay there crying.

"I h-hate crying! Ju-just stop-p crying f-for gods sake Jada! Calm down." I take deep breathes, inhale exhale. Bellamy has been silent the entire time.

"I could've beaten him to death." "You almost did." "I would've too. If you hadn't pulled me off of him." Silence. "Thank you, by the way." "Don't mention it. And I'm sorry. It was my fault." "It's not your fault Bellamy. I get angry and I can't control it." "No. It's not that. It's my fault that guy called you out about... about your mom." "What do you mean?" "He's my third in command. He saw that I was losing the argument and that Murphy too preoccupied by your hotness to take charge so he stepped up. I just... didn't think he'd go that far." "You think I'm hot?" He flushes and clears his throat. "I meant that Murphy thinks you're hot but I mean not that I don't but-" "I'm totally shitting you. Apology accepted. Wow, ladies man Bellamy loses his cool. I sight I never thought I'd see." He smiles a weak smile then turns and looks me in the eye.

"I'm sorry about your mom." He says. "I'm sorry about yours." "We're more alike than you think, sweetheart." "I guess we are." I yawn. "I'm feeling kinda tired. See yourself out?" "Of course." "Goodnight Bellamy." He starts to leave the tent then hesitates. He walks back to me and leans in close. I feel his breath on my face and him place a light kiss on my forehead.

"Goodnight sweetheart."