Just Friends

Chapter 19

"Again!?" Jeongguk laughs out.

"I can't help it." Taehyung rolls over on his back in the bed, arms spread out. "Jeonggukie. . . It's just. . .I've never experienced anything like this."

Quite literally. 

"Well, I'm glad to hear you're enjoying yourself," Jeongguk giggles.

"So good." Taehyung sighs, then rolls back over until he and Jeongguk are face-to-face.

"But. . . How is this so easy for you?"

"What do you mean?" Taehyung asks.

"I mean, you know. . ." Jeongguk smashes his knuckles. "With the switch from girls to guys," he chuckles nervously. "You've seemed to just. . .ease right through it."

"Oh. I don't know," Taehyung answers, pausing to think about it. Because if he really does think about it, his quick acclimation to intimacy with Jeongguk is rather impressive—considering how intimacy has gone down in his past relationships, lacking passion and spark and all those fluttery good things. "I was really nervous at first—I could hardly be around you at all."

Jeongguk giggles. "Really?"

"Yeah, it was so difficult, I could barely see straight at times. And then, I don't know. . .I guess over time it got easier." Taehyung shrugs. "I guess it's just because I feel so comfortable around you."

And because of how unbelievably attracted to you I am. 
Yeah, totally not the second one.

And then, before Jeongguk can respond, he asks, "Why? How long did it take you to do things like this?"

Jeongguk hums. "Actually, not long, either."

And with that answer, they both fidget, seemingly uncomfortable with that answer.

For Jeongguk, the reason why is unknowable to Taehyung.

For Taehyung, it's something yucky in his chest. It feels weird. And his stomach, it's all tied up in a painful knot. 

Though, at the same time, he can't help but feel curiosity triple down on top of the uncomfortable feelings, drowning them out. 

"Tell me," Taehyung says softly. "About your first time."

"You know about my first time."

"No," Taehyung giggles. "Your first time with a boy."

Jeongguk looks really uncomfortable then.

"Eh, I don't know, Taehyung. Do you really want to know that?"

"Sure, why not?"

"It wasn't great."

"Usually first times aren't," he laughs. 

"No, yeah, you're right—it's just. . .he uh. . ." Jeongguk swallows, looking down at his fingers. "He got a little rough with me."

Taehyung's expression drops as a wave of cold washes over him. "He what? Like, how?" Taehyung doesn't mean to ask. Knows he probably shouldn't have, but it's too late now. The words have already left his mouth.

"Like, in a mean way. He-he wasn't a nice guy. Said some mean things. Did some mean things." Jeongguk shrugs it off like it's nothing while Taehyung's knotted up stomach churns.

"Jeongguk—I—I'm sorry that happened to you."

"No—Hyung, don't be—"

"And I'm sorry, I shouldn't have—"