Just Friends

Chapter 20

Taehyung's eyes blink open to his last morning in Jayu, waking to birds singing their pretty songs while rays of sun beam through the slits in the blinds, leaving glimmering rows of light across the bed where he and Jeongguk lay. 

As he comes to, Taehyung becomes aware that he's curled up behind Jeongguk, big spoon, as they're cuddled up under the blankets. 

He likes this. Feeling close to Jeongguk in such an intimate way. But why does something slip within his mind--an unsettling feeling like a cloud growing grey above his head--that he shouldn't allow himself to get used to this? The question rings loud in his head. 

Because, what if he does get too used to this? What would happen if Jeongguk decided he no longer wanted this--whatever it is that they are? 

He thought he had moved passed this, but as he lies next to Jeongguk, listening to him snore softly, thinking of all the ways he's made him feel in the past three days alone, Taehyung fears he'll be once again exposed to the heartache he dreads; heart ripped to shreds as before when his father left, when his mother died, the day he realized he couldn't amount to anyone's romantic ideals because he was weird, boring, lifeless altogether. 

What if Jeongguk sees in him those very things that all the others saw, and leaves him, too?

At that moment, the ridiculously loud alarm on Jeongguk's phone goes off--having been set the night before to allow plenty of time to ensure they arrive to the train station to get their tickets home. 

Home. A place that has cradled Taehyung's loneliness for the past two years. It feels so perfectly far away from where they are, yet the heaviness is already sitting in. 

Jeongguk stirs and groans, then leans forward to reach for his device on the end table next to him, inadvertently causing his butt to push into Taehyung.

"Is it time already?" Taehyung asks, voice croaky from sleep. And it's amazing how quickly the thoughts in his mind can change, little grey cloud above his head whooshed away as the blood in his veins surges south. 

Hair a mess, obviously not ready for this new bright and shining day, Jeongguk lets out a petulant whine and nods. In blatant refusal to heed the alarm's call, he resituates himself under the blanket, nuzzling his body back into Taehyung's. 

Taehyung closes his eyes and his lips go inward, distraught as certain parts of him get a little too appreciative of how well their bodies fit together like this, all the curves in the right spots. 

With all the shitty things they went through yesterday, how can he possibly be in such a mood? How can he be thinking of such explicit things in this moment? Does it make him a terrible person?

It's like he can't help it. He's just so attracted to Jeongguk--it almost feels like a growing addiction. The need to touch him, kiss him, be around him in general like an itch he can't scratch.  

It certainly doesn't help that he's wearing the silky pajamas that he always does--the thin fabric making it easy to feel everything, hard to separate himself from Jeongguk's comforting body heat on this cold morning. 

Maybe it's time he invest in some different sleepwear. 

"I don't want to get up," Jeongguk rasps then, reaching back for Taehyung's arm under the blanket. "I just want to stay here, with you," he whispers as he curls Taehyung's arm around his waist, leaving his arm on top of his. 

Being pulled in so close now, Taehyung's nose is brought to the back of Jeongguk's neck. And when he breathes him in, he's overcome with the intense urge the kiss the area, lips screaming to connect with his soft skin.