desperate addictions

Chapter 2: The white tiles

       She sat leaning against the kitchen counter. It was dark. The Light from the moon was laying across the marble counter . The house was silent. The only thing that could be heard was the drops of blood hitting the pearly white tiles. The knife in her hands covered in the sweet crimson red. She made no movement as she watched the cold blood fall from her wrist onto the floor. A smile crept on to her lips. But quickly disappeared,she felt her arms and feet going limp. the strength in her hands vanished and the knife slipped out and fell onto the floor leaving a sharp sound throughout the house. Her body gave up, she was now on the floor the blood creating a puddle surrounding her. She leaned her head back on the bottom of the counter.

          Its not seeing the blood leaking out or the feeling of the knife tear through my skin It's what comes after. That numb feeling that you could just leave this world and not think about a thing you left behind. I liked the pain. Its so strong it can almost make a person  forget about everything else. Almost...

          "Why did you stop.Cut another slit into your wrist. Go DEEPER. This will make you happy. This will get rid of the pain. Catherine...CATHERINE!!"

         "I can't go anymore. I'm too weak I can barely lift my arms up". Catherine slowly tried to lift her left arm up but there was no sign of strength.

        "Its your last day before you go to that hellish place. You have to do this. For me for you for us. They won't make you happy like we do. They will take me away from you. They will take us. You don't want them to take us do you? or do you is that why you stopped"

       "No of course not Aries I don't want you to go, any of you" Catherine looked around her the blood seemed to have stopped spreading. She heard footsteps coming down from the hall. She tried getting up but gave little effort to do so.

      "IDIOT! Now it's too late. You could have kept going;you should have kept cutting. You can't even do something so simple."

    "Don't say that Leo. I'm sorry I will try again"

        Catherine looked down at the masterpiece she had just created in front of here. She slowly lifted her right hand and ran it across the open wound making her flinch in pain. They were mad at her. She didn't like that. She likes making them happy no matter what the cost. But maybe the price of this time was to much.They know what's best for her, They will always make her feel better, they help her. They made her do this.

        A few hours before the incident she layed in her bed looking out the window feeling the cold breeze against her fragile skin. They whispered to her, they always do when shes the most vulnerable. They told her this will make her happy if she just listened, She always listens. The footsteps reached the kitchen it was too dark for anyone to see anything. Catherine winced as the lights turned on causing her eyes to shut close. Standing at the entryway was Margaret the housekeeper. She started working for them about a year after her mother had died. They never told Margaret what happened it was better for her to not know. Margaret was always the one who found Catherine like this, alone and hurt.

     "Miss Oh my what have you done!" She ran to Catherine's side looking at what damage has been caused this time. The slits in both her wrist were deep, Margret looked away trying her best to keep composure. That's the best thing she could do right now. She stood up looking for the closet thing she could use to stop the blood. She grabbed two clothes sitting next to the stove and quickly put pressure on both wounds. She looked all around the poor girls body. Blood laid across the floor like a lake, a deep lake with no ends, no reflection just the dark color of blood. Then she looked down grabbing the knife that had caused this and put in the sink. She saw the girl motionless, her face was empty nothing could be seen in her eyes but the scene that laid in front of her. Margret opened the top cabinet and grabbed a small metal box, she opened it and took out the bandages and gauze and knelt down next to Catherine. She slowly picked up her arm being careful not to harm her, then she began to clean and wrap the wounds.

      "Why..." She said looking at the girl who still motionless. Catherine lifted her chin up revealing her soft green eyes.

      "They told me too" Catherine muttered under her breath.

         Margaret stared at the girl feeling remorse. She doesn't blame her for how she is seeing what she goes through. The only thing she wished out of the years taking care of her is for her to get better but she couldn't help to wonder why, why she does it. She never knew what happened to her what really caused her to be like this, Are there really voices in her head or is she just imagining things. She remembers the first day she arrived at the pierce manor, when she first met Catherine just by looking at her she looked  like an ordinary simple girl. But she's much more.

          This was her own thoughts taking over her. Was this what you call crazy, is this someone who has lost all her insanity. She will never know but maybe they will, thinking of the next morning. She got up picking Catherine off the floor walking back to her room helping her out of her night gown that was now soaked in the blood. Once she cleaned her up Margaret put her back to bed, Margaret headed down stairs and looked at the mess that was caused this time. She sighed getting ready to clean all this up before Catherine's father woke up. Catherine laid in her bed she was afraid to close her eyes, she was afraid of what she will see or who she might hear. Catherine turned her head to the window she looked at the sky as if it would somehow disappear if she looked away. She liked looking at the stars, the way they twinkled and how they shined throughout the sky. It was always something she always liked to do as a kid. The stars helped her forget for just a moment who she was, they helped her put them away. She didn't hate them they were her friends. They were her escape out of this world. They were all she ever had, she yearned for what they can make her do and she loved it, they were there for it all they helped her cope with the pain. Catherine thought upon them not being there anymore. She needed them, They helped her survive, without them she's nothing. Without them there's an endless pit of pain. These voices will never leave her if she wanted them or not, they will always be apart of her. And that thought alone deep down scared her.