desperate addictions

Chapter 5: Only at night

Nothing. No sound. No light. The air around her was thick, she could feel the pressure on her chest as she breathed. The darkness around grew darker and darker.

" Don't be afraid....It's just me and you now" Catherine's breath sharpened but why. Why was there a slight fear in her chest. Catherine could hear the creaking of the bed as she sat up. Her feet hung from the side of the bed barely touching the floor.

"aries... There's nothing to be afraid of there's just... no sky nothing. It's dark"

    "Darkness comes at any day, any time, anywhere as long as you hold pain it will always be there." Catherine closed her eyes feeling the slight breeze run up her leg. When there is silence there is nothing to hear, nothing to distract her. She could feel the screams crawl up her throat. She could see it all, she could hear them all.

    "It's been a long time since its just been us" They whispered into her ear causing endless shivers running down her spin. Catherine opened her eyes looking all around her searching for any sign of light but nothing not a single thing.

"Your too loud all of you" It felt as if a thousand brick are trying to break through your skull. I was alone no one could save me. No I wasn't they were here, they all were here with me. It was as almost I could feel them all around me there breathes hitting my skin. But  it wasn't warm. The air was cold. There voices rang through my ears I tried to keep count. aries, Leo, scorpio, Sagittarius, Aquarius. I need sound something, anything. Where was the light where did it go?

          "You don't need light sweetheart when you got us." Catherine stood up beginning to pace.

"Please not tonight." Catherine began to search infront of her feeling the wall she leaned her forehead against the cold concrete.

"Taurus..."

    "You can't hide from us. you want this, you want us to stop this pain don't you" sagittarius giggled. Catherine begane yearning for something anything just a single sound for her to hear for her to block them out just for a second. Her own voice couldn't even be heard, As if they replaced her's with their own.

"Please stop i'm begging you I can't not like this" Catherine cried out she started scratching her badges that still laid on their wrist. She didn't want silence she wanted pain, she needed them she wanted them to give her what she needed most. The voices laughed she wanted pain so they will give her pain. She was beginning to see it all clearly the large bed, the dark room  her mother was just staring at her with dead eyes. Catherine fell to the floor crying as she saw it all to clearly. Not this anything but this. Her mother looked at her as she sat across from her with disappointment in her face her skin was thin and pale her bones pierced out.

"You watched...all you did was watch like your father".

"Mom?Mom is that you?... Please mom I tried. Please I wanted nothing more but to stop your pain. Please..."

    "Your mom isn't here it's only me. Why did you do it Catherine, you just watched her! You wanted this, you wanted deep down for her to stop trying... to just give up. DIDN'T YOU!! " Aquarius screamed at her. 'No that's not true I loved her I never wanted that. I couldn't do anything I tried please stop please.' Catherine then opened her eyes she saw nothing but darkness. Then.... she heard it. The splash of the water. She heard it so clear. As if she was there. The memory that she pushed so far into the dark, crushed into her mind that it was nothing but a mere crum. Tears began pouring falling down her cheeks. She shut her eyes closed the pain the darkness the silence. The voices all of them screaming at once. It was all too much she couldn't take it.

    "Get out of my head, JUST GET OUT!!" Catherine couldn't see it again she couldn't.

Then it stopped. It all stopped.The voices, the water, her mother it all disappeared. Now she was just sitting in this empty room alone. Catherine laid on the floor crying soon without realizing it falling to sleep but this was different. It isn't dark anymore. Just for a slight moment she saw it, the small light that paused all the pain.