The thoughts in the back of your mind.

Tbh Ya'llllll

Okay maybe if i didn't speak so much people would like me more. . .i do and will admit i talk alot but that's only because i want you to understand what i'm saying or i like you. I don't like everyone. I hope people know that. I don't like everyone and anyone but since i'm here i might as well make the best of it.

Maybe i do prefer red over green or color pencils over paint but somehow its better for me to talk to someone then just sit their thinking in my thoughts all day. Everyone has obviously made it known that's what they want and that's fine with me. Okay . sorry for feeling comfortable around you and asking questions hoping i'm not being ridiculed behind closed doors even through i know that's what been happing since i've been here.

Mocked for having questions, made fun of and being questions why i have so many questions. I am just a kid at the end of the day just wanting to fill in the talking me and my mother got do for 13 years. I wanted to talk to someone all my life maybe id know a lot more than i do. I've been talking and debating in my head for so long i just wanted someone to hang around and talk to.

Wonder:

I've been wondering to much

"Be quiet" they said "you talk to much".

"Come on we want to be your friend to" they also said.

"You talk just to hear yourself talk". They once mocked.

"You're always talking"

"Shut up!"

It gets kind of hard looking for someone to care about you're feelings or if you like the movie that just came out on tuesday. Maybe someone will start a conversation with me. Maybe it won't be up to me next time or the times after that.

Maybe today or tomorrow i can stop wearing this mask and this fake smile making my laugh will be for real. Maybe one day my cheeks will hurt from smiling and my stomache will terribly ache from my laughter. Maybe one day i'll be just as happy as the tiny dogs left for dead when they find the one who picks them and takes them to get cured. Maybe one day i'll get picked up and carried home to where i belong and i'll be happy. Once and for all

hap·py

Happiness is that feeling that comes over you when you know life is good and you can't help but smile. It's the opposite of sadness. Happiness is a sense of well-being, joy, or contentment. When people are successful, or safe, or lucky, they feel happiness.