The thoughts in the back of your mind.

Dear, The Higher Power Whom Controls my Life

"He who fears he will suffer, already suffers because he fears." — Michel De Montaigne.

Dear Who Ever Is Up There,

Have you ever just wanted to die.

But in a non suicidal way. Have you ever just wanted to stop existing just so you can get you're shit together and come back all better just like nothing ever happened. Maybe we can get a off day from life. Let me get a day off of life. Then i can fake all the smiles you want. Then i can actually fake a appropriate smile and laugh all you want. But i'm tired. I can't do it anymore. I'm exhausted and sleepy and i want to go. Maybe i can just go to sleep and stay asleep. I'm tired. I want to go. Please

I think it's my time. I can't do it anymore and i'm pretty sure i'm failing. Failing at this so called thing of life and i have fallen to my weakness and my knees are hurting i don't think i can do it anymore and i don't want to.

It feels like i'm being forced to fail, cry and sob. I feel like whoever did this i'm sorry for what i did to you. I don't think i meant to in the first place. It was probably an accident. I mean i'm not gonna lie maybe it was a purposeful thing but tell me what it was so i can figure it out and i can explain. Misunderstanding. If you're up there and are getting this maybe you can show me a sign or an indication, a signal i'd be fine. Maybe that would stop me from my suffering and end how i feel. Maybe you'll just lay me down. Let me sleep. I'm comfortable in my bed let me rest.

I am tired.