ℬʀᴏᴛʜᴇʀ's ℬᴇsᴛ ℱʀɪᴇɴᴅ - ɢʙᴅ // ✔︎

THIRTY SIX / BBF

Silence is the only hearable thing.
It has been like this for a few minutes now and neither of us dares to move.
It's just us, staring into eachother's eyes.
I'm shoked.
I would never find myself saying that,
even tho I would think it.

But hey, what can I say?
He is the one that took my first everything after all!
He wasn't my first kiss or anything like that, you know being like five and just randomly kissing a boy and afterwards giggling.
But he did was my first real boyfriend.
If you don't count being eight and a boy and a girl just knowing they like eachother from one another.
He was the person that took my virginity and my first 'I love you'. He was there, together living our special moments.

It wouldn't surprize me that after this short time, I'd love him again.
But say it?

I mean, I was drunk, I would use that as an excuse but thanks to the stupid people that made up the sentence 'drunk words are sober thoughts' he won't believe that excuse.

I blink a few times and open my mouth slightly, trying to get out any sound possible. But still nothing.

In one second blink I can see a whole preview of that night.
Him wrapping his arm around me after I asked him to stay, and than me just saying those meaningful words.
But wasn't he asleep? Well apperently not.

And that's how I fucked up.

I open my mouth once again, not hearing any words slip out of it. In frustration and stand up letting my chair make an awful sound and I rush upstairs.

I didn't just confess my hidden feelings,
I also ruined everything.

And even if he does love me back.
It will never be like it was before.
Like ot used to be.

I close my bedroom door and slide down to the ground against it.
I hear the faint voices from the boys carrying the last boxes outside.

Today is my brother's 'moving out' day and I'm here sitting against my door, regretting even joining that stupid party.
I stand up and decide to let it slide over like it nevee happened.

I walk to my closet and pull out my black adidas leggings woth the white stripes down the sides of my legs.
I combine it with the grey adidas hoodie from Grayson.
It matches, that's all.

I slide my feet in my white low-top vanz and brush my hair through.

I sigh and walk downstairs.
"Hey big bro." I say as Jake already envelopes me in a big hug.
"I'll miss you Jakey." I pout.

"I'll miss you too Sof. But don't worry cause now you won't be having boys over all the time." He laughs.

But I don't, knowing that Grayson won't have a reason to come over anymore aswell..