The Guy Next Door

Chapter 44

Chapter 44

Leaning my head against the window I watched the rain droplets slid down the clear glass as we drove through the heavy down pour. The pitter patter of the heavy raindrops hitting the roof of the car filling the silence in the car but unfortunately not ridding the awkwardness that formed between Wes and I that has stretched on for hours. Biting my bottom lip I watched him from the corner of my eye; his knuckles were white from the death grip he had on the steering wheel, his narrowing on the road, expression unreadable. I wish I could have said I didn't know why he was upset when in fact I was the reason he has hardly spoken and it had everything to do with my inability to give him an answer to his question, yet again.

After my sobs ceased Wes pulled me into his lap, arms wounded tightly around my waist as I composed myself after an unexpected breakdown.

"How about we take this slow and figure things out together?" he said

Twisting in his arms I found myself nodding "Slow sounds good to me."

The corners of his mouth curved, he swiped his thumb across both my cheeks wiping away the moisture. I sucked in a shaky breath finding the moment too intimate but didn't dare pull away.

"That's good. What do you think about putting a label on this while we are at it?"

"You mean make it official?" I asked stupidly

He nodded, the smile dropping as he took in my reaction "You don't want to do that either."

"Wes-"

I paused there uncertain of how to explain how I felt about getting in a relationship with a man who I know now loves me. It wouldn't be fair to him if I entered the relationship unsure of my feels for him. I wanted to explain my reason behind my answer but as I turned to face him I found myself speechless, the disappointed look o his face leaving me a lost of words. Without a word he slid me on to the chair beside him and walked away, hands in his pockets. I'm not sure where he went after that but he was no where to be seen and even his sisters grew concerned when three hours passed and he didn't call. Sitting in the same seat he placed me in I cursed the day I met Tyler and lost my heart to him, if it weren't for him I would have given Wes and I a chance instead of constantly going over the pros and cons. I'm not sure how long I sat waiting for him to walk back in when I fell asleep, the sleepless night taking its toll as the caffeine I consumed all through the night wore off. I woke to the feel of a pair of arms lifting me out of my slumped position, without a word Wes carried me to my car and slipped into the drivers' seat and here we are now. In silence with Wes hating me for stringing him on with no idea if I'd be in for the long haul or not.

As he pulled into the parking garage of our apartment I sighed, knowing he's going to leave after getting me safely in my bed and I know I have no right to be upset or even complain by I didn't want him to leave. It was selfish of me to still want more of him when I can't give part of me to him but I couldn't help but feel that if he walked away in the mood he is now we both would suffer for it.

Swallowing my fear I turned to face him as switched the engine off "We need to talk."

"I think we've done enough talking for today." he replied in a harsh tone

"Wes, please let me explain why I didn't respond." I pleaded

He pulled the key out, still facing forward "It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out you don't want this."

"That's not true." I denied, unclipping my seatbelt I turned to face him "I need time to figure out what I want and the depth of my feelings for you and I can't do that if we we are already together." I explained