The Silence of Ana and Mia (Book 3)

Chapter 3: Eat today, Whale-ow Tomorrow

"You know you don't always have to do that."

I fiddled with the hold in my janes while he ran his fingers through my braids. I knew what he was referring to but I allowed him to humor me by inquiring further.

"Do what?"

He stopped playing with my braids and looked down at me. He really was a beautiful human being. Fair skin that practically looked translucent in the sun, thing as a rail, and covered from head to toe in brown freckles. He had a crooked smile that looked too big for his face. Coupled with dimples and a nose that also looked odd. He should curse his parents for his genetics. His one characteristic made up for al. of his other looks; his eyes. Hazel with specks of brown and blue. It was like looking into a forest in the summer and traveling deep until you were lost then looking up and finding the clear blue sky. Those eyes bewitched me every time. He was my weakness.

"Be all black girl militant to everyone."

"Tell that to my ancestors in which your people enslaved and tried to turn into docile uncle Tom's while they raped their women. I am the voice that my ancestors never got to be. So fuck you and your white privilege."

"There you go again. You're so sweet and innocent with me but you have that raging fire with everyone else. Why are you so scared to be yourself?"

"I am myself. I just happen to be more appealing when I'm with you."

"Well I like both of your personalities. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde." He poked my nose and smiled when I scowled at him.

"Why do I even tolerate you." His lap was warm where I was resting my head but I got up to put some distance between us. He was being too much. He grabbed me from my waist and pulled me into his lap.

"You tolerate me because even in your darkest times, you know that I still see your light." Drew made my heart flutter when he said things like that. He had this tendency to lay me open and vulnerable when I was desperately trying to hide. It was strange, having a person that understood you so well but still liked you for it. I think I was in love with him. This should have stopped ages ago before we caught feelings for each other, but it was too late. He had told me he loved me. I never said it back to him but somehow, he knew that despite me not saying it out loud, I did. We were supposed to be friends with benefits, the benefit being he was super white and my parents would be pissed. He either didn't know or didn't care this is why I originally chose him but we were here now.

"Brenna." He whined my name. "Why do you always have to put up a front of being in control and heartless? I just want you to be comfortable being you like you are with me. The you that I've known for eight months. The you I love."

"It's not that simple. It's hard to explain. I try to be normal but I'm not, and I'm not sure I ever can be."

"Tell me then. Explain the best you can." Sighing deeply, I sunk into his chest and scrambled to find adequate words.

"I want to show myself. Like me. To just BE Brenna but that Brenna is too sensitive. She would be chewed alive and spit out just to be shit on. Such a good nice girl. So easy to manipulate and hurt. The only person I will allow to hurt me is me."

"Is that why you don't eat?"

"Well, it's a part of it. It's the part of my life that only I can control. No one can force me to eat. I am like my own master."

"really now?" He raised his eyebrows and smirked. "That's not what you were saying last night. His laughter was cut short by the elbow I brought into his wrist.

"I loathe you."

"You are more than welcome to leave all of this."

"It's Stockholm syndrome or maybe your witch like ways cursed me."