Do You Know Indigo?

Chapter Thirty Five

I ran my finger along the glass cabinet full of cakes, biscuits and sandwiches. I couldn't decide whether I was abnormally hungry or incredibly nervous. So in the end I settled for a sweet tea and a packet of shortbread. You couldn't go wrong with a combination like that. I passed over my money and took the tray over to a table in the far corner.

Tom was unpredictable and whether he was going to crawl on his knees or lash out at me - keeping it in the shadows was better than being the center of attention.

The bookstore's café was unusually busy. People sat reading books and bantering with friends like normal but I'd just never seen them in such abundance. At least Tom and I would be drowned out by the noise if nothing else.

I sipped my drink, tapping the porcelain with my nails. My leg bounced beneath the table. I wasn't sure how long I would have to wait for Tom. I had forgotten to write a time on the message I'd sent to him. For all I knew his phone would be off, out of battery or not even with him. It was a game of chance.

Maybe it was better that way.

My head came to rest on my arm and I perused the cafe. Just being able to people watch was painful. They were so normal.

I decided I was going to give Tom an hour in which to arrive. I couldn't face sitting miserably in crowd of cheery people for any longer than that. I tried to recall what it felt like to be unburdened by the secrets of Indigo.

It was the announcing cough that made me snap out of whatever dreamland I had been in. Tom was standing in his laddered jeans and a tight tshirt. I couldn't help thinking about how good he looked. At least he wasn't losing sleep over this.

"Hey," he said. The knots in my stomach flexed. I was going to be sick.

"Hi," I replied, turning my eyes to the floor where I could see his sneakers. I hadn't really thought about my reaction to seeing him when I'd sent the message. I'd just pressed send.

I heard the scrap of the chair beside me meaning he'd welcomed himself to a seat. I wasn't against him taking up a seat, just aware it meant he was back on a level with me. A sudden feeling of fear came across me, trumping the sickness, a feeling that was telling me to run.

"I'm sorry for calling you here but I don't think I can do this," I muttered, getting to my feet and walking away. A woman at a table nearby paused in conversation to look at me, a strange but curious expression on her face. I ignored her and remembered she knew nothing about me.

I didn't know how far I imagined I could have gotten without obstruction but it wasn't far enough. Tom had stood up fast enough to catch my wrist. I confronted him but could do no more than stare. Tom's eyes, his sad, sad eyes stopped me.

"Please stay. I want us to sort this out."

"I don't know if I can," I choked.

"Five minutes that's all I ask, please?" he pleaded still with his hand locked onto my wrist. I bit my lip, hard enough for blood to trickle over my tongue. Slowly, in surrender, I nodded and retook my seat. Tom did the same, making sure to make the most of his precious five minutes.

"I'm really, really sorry Chris. I don't know what happened. Jealousy and possessiveness just took over me. I couldn't stand that I'd waited for months on end for you and when I finally succeed that arrogant bastard," - I flinched- "comes along and attempts to take it all away from me."

"Kieran didn't make you say it Tom, that was all you," I argued coolly. He sighed and rubbed his face with his scarred hands.

"No but he drove me to it."