All The Love, H (H.S.)

thirteen

Olivia,

It was crazy how quickly we fell back in love, although to be honest I don't think I ever truly fell out of it.

It was Christmas Eve, and we were spending it at my apartment, just the two of us. Christmas had always been your favorite time of the year, and although my apartment had gone undecorated the year before, you had insisted we pull out all the stops.

We'd headed to the closest thing to a tree farm you could find in Manhattan, and selected a small but beautiful pine for my living room. You'd helped me decorate it of course, and now we sat by the fire, gazing at the glistening fairly lights and shining ornaments.

You'd said you wanted this to be a Christmas to remember. It was after all, symbolic of the new start to our relationship. Our second chance, our little miracle. I had a miracle of my own up my sleeve. And I knew that this miracle, would be one that we remembered for the rest of our lives-well, assuming everything went as planned.

The past few weeks, I'd been pondering the decision. I'd taken into consideration everything we had been through, every relationship I'd encountered and every doubt I'd ever had.

Everything came back to you though. The love that I had for you was stronger than anything I'd ever experienced, our time apart had proven that to me. I'd decided that what good was love if you didn't make sacrifices. That's what a relationship was after all, a constant state of giving and taking, putting the needs of someone else above your own.

I'd lost you once before. And I wasn't about to lose you again for the same reason. This time I was not afraid to take the next step, because I had learned from our time apart that life with you was the best thing that had ever happened to me. I never wanted to be without you again.

That's what I reiterated to myself as I told you that I had an early Christmas present for you that night.

Your eyes lit up with surprise. "But I thought we were exchanging gifts tomorrow, I didn't bring yours with me tonight."

I chuckled a little, having anticipated that this was just how you would react. "It's fine, love. Just got something a little extra for you."

I watched as you eyes glimmered with suspicion, then I brought out the small red box with a gold bow and set it in your hands. You examined it slowly. I knew your mind was running through all the things that could possibly be inside of this small box. I also knew that you were trying to talk yourself out of the one thing you hoped it would be, but knew it wouldn't. I suppose I was quite cruel wasn't I, wrapping my gift in a way that made it seem far too obvious?

"Go ahead and open it," I smiled, and watched as you began to unwrap the paper, then gasping when it revealed a small black velvet box. 

"It's not..." you mumbled to yourself, but then gasped again as you opened it, revealing the diamond ring I had picked out inside. I got down on one knee in front of the Christmas tree.

"Olivia Scarlett Bennett, I learned a lot during our time apart. And one of those lessons was how important it is to show someone you love them when you have them. Love is about compromise and sacrifice, but most of all, its about doing anything to make sure that you keep your love going strong. I don't want to ever go without you again Olivia. I'm serious about making us work, because you are most definitely my one and only," I took a deep breath. "So Olivia, would you please marry me?"

You looked at me, stunned and I swear I saw your eyes get a tad bit glossy. Then you started vigorously nodding. "Yes, yes, of course yes."

You leaned into kiss me, and I felt the sparks all over again. All those years of knowing you existed but weren't part of my life, all the time we spent together like two young kids in love, all the time I struggled when I left you: it all lead up to this moment.

When we finally pulled apart, I could barely get the ring onto your finger you were shaking so bad. I think it was the pure shock of it all. You gazed down at your finger again, as if to make sure it was real. I'd being lying if I didn't say I checked to. 

"I can't believe we are going to get married," you said. I smiled. I'd never seen you glow quite this much before. "Are you sure?" you asked, looking at me as if at any moment I might take it back, and you might awake from this dream that you seem to be having. 

"I'm sure love. All these years I thought that the idea of marriage was what ruined my parents. I blamed it on every aspect of my childhood. But then I realized, when I was gone, that its not the social construct at all. If you find the person you are meant to be with, if you love someone unconditionally, a marriage isn't going to be doomed. It's not going to be easy, but that doesn't mean its a lost cause."

You looked up at me, using your newly ringed finger to brush the hair on the side of my cheek. "You know you have a way with words Mr. Harry Styles. Have you ever considered being a writer?"

I laughed and rolled my eyes. "Think its got a lot more to it than just that," I laughed. 

You shrugged. "Maybe so, but at least I know your vows are going to be well-written."j

"Oh we're writing our own vows now are we," I smirked.

"Maybe we are. The wedding's my dream now isn't it?" you replied. 

The wedding was your dream, it had always been your dream. But in this moment, sitting with you in my arms, looking at the lights of our Christmas tree and watching them reflect off of your new diamond I felt like maybe this could be some of my dream too. After all, all I'd ever wanted was you. Us. Forever. And now we were one step closer.

All the love,

H