All The Love, H (H.S.)

eighteen

Olivia,

The waiting was torture. I'd never fully understood the emotions of the families I'd approached countless times to deliver the news they'd been waiting for. I'd always sympathized with them, because I could imagine how difficult the uncertainty of not knowing your loved ones condition could be. But experiencing it, that sense of dread, concern, helplessness combined into the unknown- only then did I truly realize what that situation was like.

Surgeries can be long. But no surgery of my career had felt as long as yours. I felt so helpless in that waiting room. I couldn't look at charts or check for updates from the OR. This time I was merely a civilian, closed out from the medical world.

Madison had been kind enough to pop in to check on me from time to time. Bringing me water and snacks, none of which I could stomach. It was nice to have someone looking out for me, because god knows I was an absolute wreck.

When Niall unexpectedly comes through the door, I know it's yet another one of my coworkers attempts to keep me sane.

"Harry, your nurse just called me and told me I should come see you. What's going on? Are Liv and the baby okay?"

I looked up at my friend, his normally high-energy demeanor tampered with worry.

"Livs been in an accident. She's in surgery right now. It was bad Niall," I said, the words still sounding foreign coming from my mouth.

"Oh my god," Niall gasps. "I'm so sorry mate," he took a seat next to me placing a hand on my shoulder.

Niall stayed by my side, through those hours of waiting. He stayed silent, something I didn't know he was capable of. I'd never been someone that thought I needed someone. I liked to be independent. But in this moment, I was happy that there was someone there next to me.

"Dr. Styles," a voice brought me out of my daze. I look up to see the doctor, the white coat that I usually adorned now looking like the judge of my fate.

I stood. "I'm Dr. Gibson, the neurosurgeon on your wife's case," he said extending his hand for a handshake.

He was here, looking for me, which meant he was out of surgery. I wasn't sure I was prepared for the news he was going to give me.

"Why don't you take a seat," Dr. Gibson gestures back towards my chair. "Would you like your friend here to step out?"

I looked over at Niall. "No he can stay." If I couldn't have you beside me I supposed Niall was the next best thing.

"When your wife was brought to the ED she had suffered severe injuries. Several broken ribs, a head laceration and a baby in distress. We immediately rushed her into surgery after identifying a subdural hematoma, as well as some internal bleeding."

I inhaled deeply. As a medical provider myself, I knew that none of this was good. Individually they would be serious injuries themselves, but together, well they were most certainly life-threatening.

"Upon arrival in the OR, the OB on-call Dr. Richards, determined that the baby needed to be delivered via emergency C-section. We were able to deliver your daughter successfully, and she is currently stable in the ICU."

I try to muster up the courage to be happy with this update, knowing that our baby girl was alive and doing well. Instead my mind is only focused on you.

"Your wife came in with serious injuries. We did everything we could but.."

I don't need Dr. Gibson to finish his sentence to know the painful answer awaiting me. It's a phrase that has frequented my own vocabulary far too often.