Poems for the Mad

Untitled: i

-You don't get to touch me,
-Or look at me.
-I hated to even look at myself
-Can you see all that you have done?
-Can you look passed the blinders of arrogance that you wear?
-Do you admire what you did to me?

-Was I just another girl?
-Was I your messed up rebound?
-Or did it mean anything to you
-When you pinned me down in your garage
-And stole my world from under me?

-I'll never forget how that garage smelled:
-A salty, gut wrenching smell that made my stomach churn in all the wrong ways.
-I'll never forget how your hands felt.
-As they gripped my sides, pressing me further down
-Further and further onto the velvet lined table.
-I'll never forget the way you looked at me
-As I protested against your will for me.
-I'll never forget the way you screamed at me
-When I told you that I wouldn't do what you asked me to.

-You don't get to touch me because people aren't supposed to handle broken glass.
-You aren't allowed to look at me because thieves don't look back at the crime scene they created
-I hope you see what you have done.
-I hope that all the other women you hurt after me ripped off your blinders, so you can see just what kind of monster you truly are.

-Don't you dare say what you did was love.
-Love does not exude that level of force!
-I loved you, I hope you know that.
-I looked at you the way Icarus looked at the sun:
-With yearning passion blazing in his eyes.
-I couldn't push past the curtains you wove around me.
-So of course, when you left me, I felt a knife through my heart.
-And at that time I wished that knife was anything but metaphorical.
-I blamed myself.
-Did I do something wrong?
-How was I not good enough?
-Was it truly because I told you no three times in your cluttered, paved garage?
-Or was it because I didn't fight back anywhere but in that garage?
-Did my manipulated mind confuse you too? Because that is irony!

-I have never truly gotten over you.
-I still can't look at you.
-But, instead of my heart breaking, I just gag.
-You sicken me
-What I once thought were honeyed lips, I've learned were always dripping with poison.
-And I can love again.
-Stronger and better than I have ever loved before.
-You still don't get to touch me,
-Or even catch a glimpse of me.
-But I can now,
-Without you
-Look at myself.